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Author Topic: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...  (Read 3818 times)

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Offline LRhawgfanatic

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Someone should tell Wally that the Air Force Academy has almost always been an option team...

"Most think Gus Malzahn, the new offensive coordinator who is fresh off an undefeated high school state championship at Springdale, is going to turn the UA into the Air Force Academy."

http://www.wholehogsports.com/adg/161625/

Actually, Wally, we are hoping he will do just the opposite.

Offline Animal

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #1 on: July 26, 2006, 07:09:44 AM »
Someone should tell Wally that the Air Force Academy has almost always been an option team...

"Most think Gus Malzahn, the new offensive coordinator who is fresh off an undefeated high school state championship at Springdale, is going to turn the UA into the Air Force Academy."

http://www.wholehogsports.com/adg/161625/

Actually, Wally, we are hoping he will do just the opposite.

I thought we were going to run a no huddle spread-flex offense...not a triple option. Maybe he means BYU.

Offline Animal

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2006, 07:13:30 AM »
Maybe to Wally, "spread flex" = "flex bone"?

By the way, WTF is the "spread flex"?

The name of Malzahn's offense is "the hurry up, no huddle offense: an offensive philosophy."

I just made it up...it almost sounded good.

Offline Loma

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2006, 07:24:34 AM »
I just made it up...it almost sounded good.

Spread Flex?

That sounds like something you do after you have your first cup of coffee.

Red_Red_Swine

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2006, 07:34:50 AM »
Blessed to delve into the shrewd psyche and clever machinations of Ol' Clambeard, I must submit the following likely explanation for Mr. Hall's seemingly outrageous misstep.

You see, if I put myself in Wally's shoes (orthopedic faux buckskin Target-brand wingtips, size 5 1/2), I'm thinking that "air force" signifies a full-throttle passing attack. Wally obviously had hoped to establish, metaphorically, that the Razorback nation has high hopes for a Malzahn-engineered passing attack--the figurative "air force," if you will--taking the field this fall.

Of course, as fate would have it, the Air Force (capitalized) is actually and quite ironically celebrated for its run-oriented, pass-nearly never approach.
Life is fraught with these ironies, you see.

It is also ironic, incidentally, that in one of the poorest and most uneducated states in the country, a festering nimrod gets six figures per annum to belch forth daily "columns" that are riddled with inaccuracies and idiocy.

The sum of my commentary today is that Wally is, eternally, a gimp with a word processor.

Online Law_Hawg

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2006, 08:36:03 AM »

It is also ironic, incidentally, that in one of the poorest and most uneducated states in the country, a festering nimrod gets six figures per annum to belch forth daily "columns" that are riddled with inaccuracies and idiocy.

The sum of my commentary today is that Wally is, eternally, a gimp with a word processor.


Don't forget that extra $20,000-$25,000 per year for the TV show.


Offline LRhawgfanatic

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #6 on: July 26, 2006, 09:59:30 AM »
The sum of my commentary today is that Wally is, eternally, a gimp with a word processor.

These words should have been preceeded with a warning to the reader that he/she should not read the following sentence with water, coke, coffee, etc. in his/her mouth.

I would come very close to giving my left arm if Wally would forever rename his column "A Gimp with a Word Processor"

Offline BigRedBalls

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #7 on: July 26, 2006, 10:02:13 AM »
Blessed to delve into the shrewd psyche and clever machinations of Ol' Clambeard, I must submit the following likely explanation for Mr. Hall's seemingly outrageous misstep.

You see, if I put myself in Wally's shoes (orthopedic faux buckskin Target-brand wingtips, size 5 1/2), I'm thinking that "air force" signifies a full-throttle passing attack. Wally obviously had hoped to establish, metaphorically, that the Razorback nation has high hopes for a Malzahn-engineered passing attack--the figurative "air force," if you will--taking the field this fall.

Of course, as fate would have it, the Air Force (capitalized) is actually and quite ironically celebrated for its run-oriented, pass-nearly never approach.
Life is fraught with these ironies, you see.

It is also ironic, incidentally, that in one of the poorest and most uneducated states in the country, a festering nimrod gets six figures per annum to belch forth daily "columns" that are riddled with inaccuracies and idiocy.

The sum of my commentary today is that Wally is, eternally, a gimp with a word processor.


I heart you.



BTW, I looked in the Kama Sutra and found no reference to the "spread flex".

Offline Phat_Hawg

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2006, 10:03:23 AM »
Someone should tell Wally that the Air Force Academy has almost always been an option team...

"Most think Gus Malzahn, the new offensive coordinator who is fresh off an undefeated high school state championship at Springdale, is going to turn the UA into the Air Force Academy."

http://www.wholehogsports.com/adg/161625/

Actually, Wally, we are hoping he will do just the opposite.


Seriously, does the guy even watch sports?
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The_Big_Hogowski

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #9 on: July 26, 2006, 10:18:00 AM »

Seriously, does the guy even watch sports?


Depends on your stance on softball.

Offline Aporkalypse_Now

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #10 on: July 26, 2006, 10:19:02 AM »
Spread Flex?

That sounds like something you do after you have your first cup of coffee.

Nope, it's the reason Seinfeld always wanted to date a gymnast.

Side-0-Ribs

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #11 on: July 26, 2006, 10:22:31 AM »
Nope, it's the reason Seinfeld always wanted to date a gymnast.

I gonna go home tonight and prove to the world on NCAA07 that the spread flex is a great offense. You'll see!

Offline BigRedBalls

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #12 on: July 26, 2006, 10:32:58 AM »
I gonna go home tonight and prove to the world on NCAA07 that the spread flex is a great offense. You'll see!


While you're at it, you might want to install the "Veer and Shoot" and the "Winged Bone" into your offensive arsenal as well.

Offline TheOtherWhiteMeat

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #13 on: July 26, 2006, 11:02:43 AM »

"Winged Bone"



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Offline bakervscarrr

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #14 on: July 26, 2006, 01:38:48 PM »
Regarding a more pertinent section of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, Overboard was reinstated to the lineup of daily comics that the paper runs. 

The post offices in Hot Springs Village and Bella Vista are anticipating a 75% decline in the volume of outgoing mail.

Offline Iron & Swine

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #15 on: July 26, 2006, 01:49:33 PM »
Regarding a more pertinent section of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, Overboard was reinstated to the lineup of daily comics that the paper runs. 

The post offices in Hot Springs Village and Bella Vista are anticipating a 75% decline in the volume of outgoing mail.

Do not fuck with the funnies, Frank Fellone!

Red_Red_Swine

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #16 on: July 26, 2006, 01:56:36 PM »
Regarding a more pertinent section of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, Overboard was reinstated to the lineup of daily comics that the paper runs. 

The post offices in Hot Springs Village and Bella Vista are anticipating a 75% decline in the volume of outgoing mail.

That shit was hilarious. The Letters section was literally inundated with outrage for weeks.

And they were mad about the strip "Lio" that replaced it, and I have to confess that upon reading it, I did find it funny.

But I also enjoy the panel-style drama of Rex Morgan, M.D., so I'm not a fair judge of the situation.

Side-0-Ribs

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #17 on: July 26, 2006, 02:11:56 PM »

While you're at it, you might want to install the "Veer and Shoot" and the "Winged Bone" into your offensive arsenal as well.

You mock this now...just wait, with Dale's influence on the situation who the frick actually knows what this offense will look like. We may see a No Huddle T-Formation become a mainstay in our aresnenal.

Offline notaslibro

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #18 on: July 26, 2006, 02:52:10 PM »

While you're at it, you might want to install the "Veer and Shoot" and the "Winged Bone" into your offensive arsenal as well.


I'm pretty sure that the only way to defend against those is with a Double Stunt 9-2 or the classic Cover 7/Prevent Hybrid.

Offline razorhog12

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #19 on: July 26, 2006, 04:01:27 PM »
It is absolutely inexcusable for the editor of the sports page to write something like this.  How could anyone with half-a-brain-cell working possibly get confused about the offesnive style of a team like Air Force?

Offline Animal

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #20 on: July 26, 2006, 04:40:55 PM »
It is absolutely inexcusable for the editor of the sports page to write something like this.  How could anyone with half-a-brain-cell working possibly get confused about the offesnive style of a team like Air Force?

I think your giving Cdub a bit too much credit...really half a brain cell?

Offline BigRedBalls

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #21 on: July 26, 2006, 10:27:36 PM »
Where is arreferee when I need him?

I need a ruling on the legality of a five back, no wide, shotgun set. Since everyone knows we are going to run the ball anyway, I  thought that might decrease our predictability by increasing the number of options in the backfield. Plus every back on the roster would have the opportunity to get the "hot hand" on every play.

Offline Jostlyn McCocksack

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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #22 on: July 26, 2006, 10:34:26 PM »
Where is arreferee when I need him?

I need a ruling on the legality of a five back, no wide, shotgun set. Since everyone knows we are going to run the ball anyway, I  thought that might decrease our predictability by increasing the number of options in the backfield. Plus every back on the roster would have the opportunity to get the "hot hand" on every play.


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Re: The Elf proves once again that research is not his strong suit...
« Reply #23 on: July 27, 2006, 12:04:28 AM »
It is absolutely inexcusable for the editor of the sports page to write something like this.  How could anyone with half-a-brain-cell working possibly get confused about the offesnive style of a team like Air Force?


They have "Air" in their name.  Shit like that throws him off.

 

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