Author Topic: Here's to the 5% (Read 26425 times)

Aporkalypse_Now · « **on:** January 11, 2012, 12:51:28 AM »

Arkansas just finished in the top 5 for the first time since 1977, when I was 2 years old.

We were told we were just lil' ole Arkansas, and we should be happy just to be competitive. We were told that with any kind of success, we had to rebuild and endure 4 win seasons. Goals like the BCS were setting the bar far too high. Even our lifetime AD and winningest coach told us that we were "9th in potential". An occasional trip to Atlanta to be sodomized by a team that actually belonged there was all we could hope for, they said.

Despite a .500 record, our coach was enough of an asshole he flirted with the likes of LSU and Nebraska trying to get a raise. He disrespected our players and our fans regularly. The Springdale kids and Malzahn were belittled and lied to, but so were hosts of others.

When we became dissatisfied, we were called a lunatic fringe. We were called crazies and wackos and at the very least unrealistic.

We were told that losing that coach would "set the program back 20 years".

When one of our own was ballsy enough to use the FOIA to discover exactly how bad things were, he was ridiculed, harassed and his yard was destroyed. Some other good people were trampled as well, but not like Thomas McAfee was.

All we wanted was effort, accountability, and professionalism in our program.

Now we have a new AD, we have one of the top 2 football coaches in America, and we have a top 5 football team.

We were right, and they were wrong.

So fuck you, Chuck Barrett.

Double fuck you, Rick Shaffer.

Frank, I appreciated what you did back in the day, I really do. But you fucked up the program for 2 decades after you were done coaching, so fuck you, too.

Theresa Prewitt and Sherry Darby, fuck you with the giant black double-headed dildo of shame.

OBVIOUSLY fuck you, Houston. Fuck your GD golden handcuffs. Stay outside of our state and live in shame in that hellhole to the East of us.

Fuck you James Shibest, you Benedict Arnold SOB. You are dead to us. The rest of MSM? Fuck you, too.

Fuck you Otis Kirk for deleting any kind of criticism on your board.

Fuck anyone too insignificant to even remember anymore that helped or enabled the old regime.

We are the 5%, and WE WERE RIGHT.

Thank you to those who made it possible. Not the douches with the banner, the guys from here. Thomas McAfee, Eddie Christian, Razorgasm, and everyone that contributed. Thank Elvis for giving us a place for dissent to occur. Thanks to the media with the balls to be honest about Nutt.

Thank you Bobby Petrino, for choosing the University of Arkansas. I don't know why of all of your options that you selected Fayetteville, but you'll never be more appreciated and more staunchly defended. You can curse as much as you want here, we DGAF.

Thank you to Jeff Long for seeing the light on hiring Petrino, and then busting your ass to enable him to have all of the resources he needs and raising the money to give it to him, and seeing the value of a great coach and locking him down.

We were right, and I never imagined it could feel this fucking good. The crazy thing is, it's about to get even better.

Soak it up, bitches.

notaslibro · « **Reply #1 on:** January 11, 2012, 01:20:37 AM »

I agree with everything you sad. I would only add this:

The previous coach continued to seek pay raises, even as he decried the market here. His boss, the AD and former coach, continued to grant them, even as he decried the potential here. They treated the fans of Arkansas like so many Second Mile participants, and they strove to take codependency to frightening new heights.

Thank you, Thomas. Thank you, Eddie. Thank you HFTN.

PS

Thank you Casey, DJ, and everyone else who saw through the BS and was able to transition from the the dark to the light.

Stephen Colboar · « **Reply #2 on:** January 11, 2012, 01:31:28 AM »

WAY TOO FUCKING LONG

Arkansas Proud · « **Reply #3 on:** January 11, 2012, 01:33:56 AM »

Thank you to the ADG for allowing the 5% ad?

Hogwildpigcrazy · « **Reply #4 on:** January 11, 2012, 06:46:29 AM »

Very well stated.

Lotsa things to be pissed about, but a whole lot more to look forward to.

Go Hogs

KSHogg · « **Reply #5 on:** January 11, 2012, 06:51:40 AM »

What the hell ever happened to Razorgasm? I haven't seen that dude/dudette around here for a while.

Hogtired · « **Reply #6 on:** January 11, 2012, 07:05:52 AM »

Well sir, I believe you said it very succinctly and I approve of your message

Sliver72 · « **Reply #7 on:** January 11, 2012, 07:36:03 AM »

One of the many beautiful things about the woopig. You can hold a grudge for fucking ever, and no one is going to tell you that you need to be a bigger person and let it go. If they do, they'll get told to fuck off as well.

ADDENDUM: Quinn Grovey needs a "Fuck You" along with Shibest. His ass is a big reason Hootie was here.

Zoso · « **Reply #8 on:** January 11, 2012, 08:14:20 AM »

I'm just a little teared up....

Jose Papoopoo · « **Reply #9 on:** January 11, 2012, 08:29:21 AM »

Quote from: Aporkalypse_Now on January 11, 2012, 12:51:28 AM

Arkansas just finished in the top 5 for the first time since 1977, when I was 2 years old.

We were told we were just lil' ole Arkansas, and we should be happy just to be competitive. We were told that with any kind of success, we had to rebuild and endure 4 win seasons. Goals like the BCS were setting the bar far too high. Even our lifetime AD and winningest coach told us that we were "9th in potential". An occasional trip to Atlanta to be sodomized by a team that actually belonged there was all we could hope for, they said.

Despite a .500 record, our coach was enough of an asshole he flirted with the likes of LSU and Nebraska trying to get a raise. He disrespected our players and our fans regularly. The Springdale kids and Malzahn were belittled and lied to, but so were hosts of others.

When we became dissatisfied, we were called a lunatic fringe. We were called crazies and wackos and at the very least unrealistic.

We were told that losing that coach would "set the program back 20 years".

When one of our own was ballsy enough to use the FOIA to discover exactly how bad things were, he was ridiculed, harassed and his yard was destroyed. Some other good people were trampled as well, but not like Thomas McAfee was.

All we wanted was effort, accountability, and professionalism in our program.

Now we have a new AD, we have one of the top 2 football coaches in America, and we have a top 5 football team.

We were right, and they were wrong.

So frick you, Chuck Barrett.

Double frick you, Rick Shaffer.

Frank, I appreciated what you did back in the day, I really do. But you fricked up the program for 2 decades after you were done coaching, so frick you, too.

Theresa Prewitt and Sherry Darby, frick you with the giant black double-headed dildo of shame.

OBVIOUSLY frick you, Houston. frick your GD golden handcuffs. Stay outside of our state and live in shame in that hellhole to the East of us.

frick you James Shibest, you Benedict Arnold SOB. You are dead to us. The rest of MSM? frick you, too.

frick you Grit for deleting any kind of criticism on your board.

frick anyone too insignificant to even remember anymore that helped or enabled the old regime.

We are the 5%, and WE WERE RIGHT.

Thank you to those who made it possible. Not the douches with the banner, the guys from here. Thomas McAfee, Eddie Christian, Razorgasm, and everyone that contributed. Thank Elvis for giving us a place for dissent to occur. Thanks to the media with the balls to be honest about Mr. Golden Parachute.

Thank you Bobby Petrino, for choosing the University of Arkansas. I don't know why of all of your options that you selected Fayetteville, but you'll never be more appreciated and more staunchly defended. You can curse as much as you want here, we DGAF.

Thank you to Jeff Long for seeing the light on hiring Petrino, and then busting your ass to enable him to have all of the resources he needs and raising the money to give it to him, and seeing the value of a great coach and locking him down.

We were right, and I never imagined it could feel this fricking good. The crazy thing is, it's about to get even better.

Soak it up, bitches.

Very well said. You left out one very important frick you to John White. If not for him, Hootie would have never been hired in the first place.

Joe Swine · « **Reply #10 on:** January 11, 2012, 09:11:39 AM »

MDEM · « **Reply #11 on:** January 11, 2012, 09:56:00 AM »

Dr. HawgLove · « **Reply #12 on:** January 11, 2012, 10:05:40 AM »

Quote from: muslimsdonteatme on January 11, 2012, 09:56:00 AM

.

Where did you find a martian baby?

HogofWar · « **Reply #13 on:** January 11, 2012, 10:08:43 AM »

Thank you Eric Cartman for that rant.

big_pig · « **Reply #14 on:** January 11, 2012, 10:08:52 AM »

Quote from: Stephen Colboar on January 11, 2012, 01:31:28 AM

WAY TO HELP PETRINO FUCK THE SEC, LONG

gambler · « **Reply #15 on:** January 11, 2012, 10:50:12 AM »

I used to get so sick of hearing schaffer talk about keeping low expectations. He still does it some. I always thought jfb tried to talk us down with the 8th in potential bullshit. We just needed a good athletic department cleansing. We got that and look at us now. We are who we thought we were.

MDEM · « **Reply #16 on:** January 11, 2012, 11:17:28 AM »

Quote from: Dr. HawgLove on January 11, 2012, 10:05:40 AM

Where did you find a martian baby?

http://martianbaby.com/

Quote

The Martian baby grows back after it dies. It respawns from any blood that is left, even if it is a tiny blood molecule floating in the air. Gross, but amazing.

jack_beene · « **Reply #17 on:** January 11, 2012, 11:21:32 AM »

Quote from: Dr. HawgLove on January 11, 2012, 10:05:40 AM

Where did you find a martian baby?

Mars?

Ray Zorback · « **Reply #18 on:** January 11, 2012, 11:25:41 AM »

Reo Porkwagon · « **Reply #19 on:** January 11, 2012, 12:27:22 PM »

I enjoyed the Benedict Arnold reference for what it's worth!

Aporkalypse_Now · « **Reply #20 on:** January 11, 2012, 01:07:01 PM »

Quote from: KSHogg on January 11, 2012, 06:51:40 AM

What the Starkville ever happened to Razorgasm? I haven't seen that dude/dudette around here for a while.

He's in the treehouse, like a lot of folks were that helped do this thing.

I think he and E had a falling out, which is a damn shame.

Sorry about the long post, but the fact it had been 35 years since we finished in the top 5 just got me riled. As did the fact that I still have to see and hear Chuck Barrett and Rick Schaffer's silly, patronizing asses.

big_pig · « **Reply #21 on:** January 11, 2012, 01:15:54 PM »

we were the original occupiers

Fairweather Hog Fan · « **Reply #22 on:** January 11, 2012, 01:18:58 PM »

Glad I could help!

If laughing at Nutt photoshops is heppin'.

Pumpkin Escobar · « **Reply #23 on:** January 11, 2012, 03:50:42 PM »

Thank you SS6 for your questions in Dallas which showed how out of touch Paw Paw was.

Olive Branch Hog · « **Reply #24 on:** January 11, 2012, 04:13:54 PM »

Well, it's fricking year 5 of the BMFP regime. Think about that.

And there have been no flirtations with other jobs or requests for 2 year passes. And the hogs have won 21 football games the last 2 seasons.

I'm feeling good about that.