Welcome, stranger! Please log in or register. - Did you miss your activation email?

Author Topic: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours  (Read 53344 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Animal Chin

  • Tush Hog
  • ***
  • Posts: 1285
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #100 on: September 05, 2016, 10:30:14 PM »
If herbstreit gets Kelley's balls any farther down his throat, they'll be hanging out his ass.

Offline Pumpkin Escobar

  • Rocky Mountain High
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 13443
  • It's going to be a shit show.
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #101 on: September 05, 2016, 10:30:25 PM »
I haven't been paying attention.  How's that Harris kid doing?  Probably put up 400+ and 5 touchdowns against Wisconsin.
 

When I see what Harris brings to the table, I curse Bert for being fat.
An té nach leigheasann im nó uisce beatha, ní aon leigheas ar.
 
Tiocfaidh ár lá! Éireann go brách!

Offline Buffinator

  • The Other Other White Meat
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 16072
  • Has perfect aim.
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #102 on: September 05, 2016, 10:34:01 PM »
If herbstreit gets Kelley's balls any farther down his throat, they'll be hanging out his ass.

If I had any artistic ability, I'd turn this visual image into some disturbing Yaoi for Woopig's enjoyment.

Offline Mr A Ziffell

  • A Shoat
  • *
  • Posts: 86
  • old
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #103 on: September 05, 2016, 10:50:43 PM »
I ask again, does he have a truck?

Online DirkPiggler

  • The Lyrical Jesse James
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 12461
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #104 on: September 06, 2016, 08:16:15 AM »
Of course not, but being a "willing runner" when you have the chance to make a first down or minimize a loss is always a good thing.

Mallett was willing, but not able. 

Of course, all things equal, it's better for your QB to be able to run a little bit.  To be successful in a spread it's damn near a requirement. 

In an offense like we run or LSU attempts to run, it's 100 times more important to have someone who can pass accurately, read defenses, and make good decisions. 

Offline Over9000ft

  • Wild Hog
  • **
  • Posts: 508
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #105 on: September 06, 2016, 08:57:25 PM »
Here's the thing.

We beat them 17-0 and 31-14 the last two years.

The first was clear proof that development trumps talent.
The second was a Bielema offense scoring 4 TDs against what I'm guessing you'd consider a traditional Top 5 defense.

None of which has anything to do with what I posted.

How many defensive players does LSU put in the NFL?

How many has AR put in the NFL?

I said talent.

It honestly doesn't matter when we beat LSU, because when we play them we're usually about 4-5 and they're coming off of loss #2 so neither side has reason to give a shit.

Louisiana is a close race with TX and FL for the highest amount of D1 talent per capita in the nation.  AR has virtually none.

The reason Petrino had success here was he was doing something different. All these big 10 yokels are fighting over O linemen and RBs, so Petrino was snatching up receivers, TEs, and QBs.  If all those other schools were playing June Jones like aTm is, Bert might have some success.

But they're not, they're all playing the big 10 snooze fest.  The only difference in us and them is they have way more talent than us.

You can fuck the chicken however you wanna fuck it but the above is not going to change.  They have AR15s and you have a fucking Walmart pop gun saying "no wait we can win a gunfight we just have to shoot straighter!"

The only thing done successfully around here is Jeff Long firmly establishing himself as the new Frank.  You keep arguing about how to beat Saban with 3 yards and a cloud of dust with players from Fordyce and Jeff Long will keep his tee times at Augusta as long as the jet isn't in the shop.  That's the purpose of Arkansas football.
« Last Edit: September 06, 2016, 09:02:04 PM by Over9000ft »

Offline Tonic

  • Local Sunshine Pumper
  • Boar
  • ****
  • Posts: 4081
  • Keep On 'Stachin
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #106 on: September 06, 2016, 09:06:28 PM »
None of which has anything to do with what I posted.

How many defensive players does LSU put in the NFL?

How many has AR put in the NFL?

I said talent.

It honestly doesn't matter when we beat LSU, because when we play them we're usually about 4-5 and they're coming off of loss #2 so neither side has reason to give a shit.

Louisiana is a close race with TX and FL for the highest amount of D1 talent per capita in the nation.  AR has virtually none.

The reason Petrino had success here was he was doing something different. All these big 10 yokels are fighting over O linemen and RBs, so Petrino was snatching up receivers, TEs, and QBs.  If all those other schools were playing June Jones like aTm is, Bert might have some success.

But they're not, they're all playing the big 10 snooze fest.  The only difference in us and them is they have way more talent than us.

You can fuck the chicken however you wanna fuck it but the above is not going to change.  They have AR15s and you have a fucking Walmart pop gun saying "no wait we can win a gunfight we just have to shoot straighter!"

The only thing done successfully around here is Jeff Long firmly establishing himself as the new Frank.  You keep arguing about how to beat Saban with 3 yards and a cloud of dust with players from Fordyce and Jeff Long will keep his tee times at Augusta as long as the jet isn't in the shop.  That's the purpose of Arkansas football.

Same old song and dance from you, negative nancy.

Useless drivel is useless. Go fuck yourself.

Don't waste your time with the mouth breathers.

Online Ty Webb

  • I don't play golf, for money, against people
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 9274
  • The Best in Sight and Sound
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #107 on: September 06, 2016, 09:41:24 PM »
I don't buy his high school bullshit either.  The only reason anyone knows his name is Cam Newton stealing laptops.

Here's the thing...

Nick Saban is always gonna get the pick of the litter.  How is it that anyone thinks they can beat him at his game when they get his leftovers?

Here's a stat for you...

In the past seven years, or 111 games, Alabama has lost to an opponent scoring less than four touchdowns a whopping total of three times.  Two of those losses were LSU, so only two teams have accomplished the above.  The other was Ole Miss.

When will Arkansas have defensive talent on par with LSU?  Never.
When will an offense under Bert be capable of four TDs against a top 5 defense? Never.

As for Russell Wilson, he had 25 or fewer attempts in 11 of 12 games in his one year with Bert.
He had 15 or fewer completions in 6 of those 11.
He had less than 200 yards in 6 of those 11 as well.
I'd gladly take an Arkansas QB putting up Wilson's Wisky numbers every year.

225-309, 73% comp, 3175 yds, 33 TDs 4 INTs, 340yds rushing 6 TDs, QB rating 191.
Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.

Online MoPork

  • Boar
  • ****
  • Posts: 3064
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #108 on: September 07, 2016, 02:19:29 AM »
None of which has anything to do with what I posted.

How many defensive players does LSU put in the NFL?

How many has AR put in the NFL?

I said talent.

It honestly doesn't matter when we beat LSU, because when we play them we're usually about 4-5 and they're coming off of loss #2 so neither side has reason to give a shit.

Louisiana is a close race with TX and FL for the highest amount of D1 talent per capita in the nation.  AR has virtually none.

The reason Petrino had success here was he was doing something different. All these big 10 yokels are fighting over O linemen and RBs, so Petrino was snatching up receivers, TEs, and QBs.  If all those other schools were playing June Jones like aTm is, Bert might have some success.
I loved our offense when Bobby was here but other than the 08 class that he inherited from Nutt save for Joe Adams and Cobi Hamilton in 09 his haul of wide receivers sucked.

Offline bleedinred

  • Boar
  • ****
  • Posts: 2308
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #109 on: September 10, 2016, 09:50:38 PM »
Win lose or draw.

I was wrong.

Offline big_pig

  • stealer of Chop's avatar
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 16583
  • Avatars were made to be broken, but not this one!
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #110 on: September 10, 2016, 10:05:07 PM »
this thread is backwards. some posters need to kneel down and start blowing.
I am not claiming I am right, I am saying I don't get it.

Offline Jostlyn McCocksack

  • Wise guy extraordinare. Faded weekly
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 10617
  • PWNED.
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #111 on: September 10, 2016, 10:07:18 PM »
All their base belong to him
"Coaches who listen to fans often end up sitting with them."
Bobby Knight

Offline Thin Red Swine

  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 18140
  • What Kate Does...to me.
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #112 on: September 10, 2016, 10:11:03 PM »
That throw to Sprinkle?  Are you kidding me?  And that last play looked a WHOLE LOT like Ot in Oxford last fall.

Incredible. He's gonna be just fine. 

Offline Das Uberschwein

  • Resident Drecksau
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 8400
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #113 on: September 10, 2016, 10:13:53 PM »
Sure hope our next qb sucks, too.

Offline papermill

  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 11734
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #114 on: September 10, 2016, 10:16:10 PM »
Sure hope our next qb sucks, too.

Bobby Allen needs to get out there and start fucking, won't help next year but we'd be good to go in 2035

Offline clintcommander

  • Take it easy... and if its easy, take it twice!
  • Tush Hog
  • ***
  • Posts: 1648
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #115 on: September 10, 2016, 10:16:38 PM »
Sure hope our next qb sucks, too.

This all day long.
Once upon a time, big fat titties, and they all lived happily ever after.
The End

Offline Das Uberschwein

  • Resident Drecksau
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 8400
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #116 on: September 10, 2016, 10:17:20 PM »
Bobby Allen needs to get out there and start fucking, won't help next year but we'd be good to go in 2035

Good point. We need to get him to 'donate' to the Razorback Foundation so we can freeze his stuff.

Offline iNOVAhog

  • Boar
  • ****
  • Posts: 3499
  • woopig.net
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #117 on: September 10, 2016, 10:18:49 PM »
Can our Admin change the thread title to Austin Allen's Cock?

If so, then put me down for 10 inches, at least.
« Last Edit: September 10, 2016, 10:22:13 PM by iNOVAhog »

Offline Clark

  • Controls white girls via the pumpkin spice.
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 18237
  • Sailing on a sea of really smooth music.
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #118 on: September 10, 2016, 10:19:48 PM »
Austin can go. Just protect him, please. I'm talking to you, right side.
The iconic 'alien' is to us what we are to apes: small, pale, big headed, and with unfathomable technology. We even abduct them for medical experiments. Mind blown.
--Rage

I was in...Sang Bang...Dang Gong...I was all over the place, a lot of places. I was with the Green Berets, Special Unit Battalions... Commando Airborne Tactics...Specialist Tactics Unit Battalion. Yeah, it was real hush hush. I was Agent Orange, Special Agent Orange, that was me.

Offline Jostlyn McCocksack

  • Wise guy extraordinare. Faded weekly
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 10617
  • PWNED.
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #119 on: September 10, 2016, 10:22:01 PM »
Austin can go. Just protect him, please. I'm talking to you, right side.

He's no Mitch cumstein
"Coaches who listen to fans often end up sitting with them."
Bobby Knight

Offline Clark

  • Controls white girls via the pumpkin spice.
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 18237
  • Sailing on a sea of really smooth music.
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #120 on: September 10, 2016, 10:22:29 PM »
The iconic 'alien' is to us what we are to apes: small, pale, big headed, and with unfathomable technology. We even abduct them for medical experiments. Mind blown.
--Rage

I was in...Sang Bang...Dang Gong...I was all over the place, a lot of places. I was with the Green Berets, Special Unit Battalions... Commando Airborne Tactics...Specialist Tactics Unit Battalion. Yeah, it was real hush hush. I was Agent Orange, Special Agent Orange, that was me.

Offline Vito Porkleone

  • Director of Golf
  • Boar
  • ****
  • Posts: 2027
  • Next one's coming faster.
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #121 on: September 10, 2016, 10:24:47 PM »
The night putter.

Austin's balls dropped.  Not only did he have his way with the dean's daughter, but the wife too.
The first thing we're gonna do is we're gonna acknowledge that this guy is awesome.  I mean he shoots Theo Tonin;  fakes his own death in a spectacular fashion;  pushes a guy out of an airplane while he's flyin' it;  parachutes into Harlan County with enough coke and cash to jumpstart the economy of a small country;  then he has the balls to get a job in law enforcement - not once but two times;  he spends a couple days ridin' around with you - while you're lookin' for him;  and now he's run off with a hooker that's half his age.  That's some badass shit.

Online VegasHog

  • Boar
  • ****
  • Posts: 4068
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #122 on: September 10, 2016, 10:26:36 PM »
he's no kenny thrill

Offline Cerdo

  • Despacito
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 14043
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #123 on: September 10, 2016, 10:32:48 PM »
Really would like to see this thread title changed.

It's embarrassing that Woopig has become this stupid. 

Offline Jackie Treehorn

  • Tush Hog
  • ***
  • Posts: 1459
Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #124 on: September 10, 2016, 10:34:11 PM »
Bobby Allen needs to get out there and start fucking, won't help next year but we'd be good to go in 2035

At that point BA will be our coach.  Brother-coach?
Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man.

 

Page created in 0.191 seconds with 37 queries.