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Author Topic: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours  (Read 92185 times)

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Offline allswell

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #300 on: October 13, 2016, 04:49:34 PM »
Lou Holtz, Mark May, you better put him in the Heisman. This is a football player right here.

Edited - Was AA's beat down worse than Tyler's was against Bama? I'll hang up and listen. I do think AA played one hell of a ballgame given the situation.

tyler wilson took one of the worst beatings ever administered in ncaa football history that day - it was fucking brutal.  but when you're one dimensional like tyler- all arm and no wheels, - those daze are inevitable, unless your dan marino. ever watch wilson run to the sidelines during a timeout or between quarters? looked like jack tripper chasing down a fly ball in short right field for the regal beagle in the restaurant, softball league back in the day. talk about leadfree loafers.

allen, on the other hand, always seems to evade direct hits, due to his uber athleticism and jedi mind skills. you know why you don't see him looking out his earhole, ever?cuz the motherfucker's a playmaka to the core and is already 10 times the qb wilson ever was. oh, and he may even have a better arm, certainly on par. if it weren't for allen, bert's big ass would currently be on the big ass hot seat - fosho.


Online Hogwildpigcrazy

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #301 on: October 14, 2016, 08:57:00 PM »
I thought Tyler looked very fast, quick and agile after watching Mallet.

Our founding fathers would have been shooting by now.

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #302 on: October 16, 2016, 06:55:47 PM »
My stats show I've started 264 threads in my years on woopig.  Clearly, in terms of quality, this thread is 264th.  Whatever I thought I was seeing against Louisiana Tech either was wrong, or hasn't been repeated. Austin is a fucking baller.


Offline HRC

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #303 on: October 16, 2016, 07:06:55 PM »
My stats show I've started 264 threads in my years on woopig.  Clearly, in terms of quality, this thread is 264th.  Whatever I thought I was seeing against Louisiana Tech either was wrong, or hasn't been repeated. Austin is a fucking baller.

I don't think simple repentance is enough. You hated AA enough to start a thread, not just comment on an existing thread, about how fucking horrible he was. You fucking crucified him, unjustifiably, then crawfished (repeatedly) after his continued great performances. I would hope that this would help someone in the future calm their jets on their hot sports opinions. Sadly, none of this will happen.

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #304 on: October 16, 2016, 07:19:03 PM »
I don't think simple repentance is enough. You hated AA enough to start a thread, not just comment on an existing thread, about how fucking horrible he was. You fucking crucified him, unjustifiably, then crawfished (repeatedly) after his continued great performances. I would hope that this would help someone in the future calm their jets on their hot sports opinions. Sadly, none of this will happen.

Can I send you a finger or something? Just a pinkie.


Offline MDEM

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Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #305 on: October 16, 2016, 07:19:49 PM »
It was the freshman La Tech's first start, too. First action. Freshman.

I'd trade right now.  WITH LOUISIANA FUCKING TECH.

With QBs, I think that saying always applies, if the dog's gonna bite, he'll do it as a pup.

Not sure I'm done beating on you, just yet.   :D

This is a high quality post.

Online Show-Me Hog

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Re: Austin Allen's tool
« Reply #306 on: October 16, 2016, 07:21:27 PM »
Not sure I'm done beating on you, just yet.   :D

You can have my other pinkie. That's where I'm drawing the line, though.


Offline HRC

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #307 on: October 16, 2016, 07:26:43 PM »
Can I send you a finger or something? Just a pinkie.

A heart-shaped bottled of bourbon would work.

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Offline Tusk till Dawn

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #308 on: October 16, 2016, 07:47:20 PM »
I think everybody knows what needs to happen here. Cock slammed in screen door threve times.

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Offline IH8LSU

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #309 on: October 16, 2016, 08:32:20 PM »
Stick it in Crapola Crapola if you want, but I want to be that internet asshole who is first to go dark side on something.  He fucking sucks. Surely we have someone better than this.

A QB who can't run, or pass with zip, or think quickly on his feet, or scramble is realllllllly not optimal for the SEC.
No need for violence. Just read this post of yours out loud 3 times at the next Hogs game.


Offline Arkansas Proud

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #310 on: October 16, 2016, 08:49:31 PM »
I don't think simple repentance is enough. You hated AA enough to start a thread, not just comment on an existing thread, about how fucking horrible he was. You fucking crucified him, unjustifiably, then crawfished (repeatedly) after his continued great performances. I would hope that this would help someone in the future calm their jets on their hot sports opinions. Sadly, none of this will happen.

Worse than all that, he watched the game on tv. Nobody that watches on tv is allowed to comment.

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Online JoeBobHog

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #311 on: October 16, 2016, 09:06:46 PM »


A QB who can't pass with zip,

how far did he throw it on the last play of the first half?



 :notexas:

Irvin: BWAAHAHAHA! (yelling) Aw mane!  Deion, scrin scranton!  BWAAHAHAHA!  Got to grisna!  Like T.O.!  BWAAHAHAHA!
Sanders: BWAAHAHAHA!
Marino: OK, well like we were saying before, McNair will display the toughness and show the kind of heart that…
Irvin: BWAAAHAHAHA! (yelling) You know I scrilleous crate!  Grab a pen in traven!  BWAAAHAHAHA!  Sh*t!  Now I’m say!  Aw mane!
Sanders: HA HA!  Crenious shanta!  BWAAAHAHAHA!   Marino: What?
Irvin: BWAAAHAHAHA! (pushes Sanders in shoulder, falls backward out of chair)
Sanders:  Aw mane!  Irvin: (from ground)  BWAAAHAHAHA!

Online Too Big Pig

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #312 on: October 16, 2016, 09:08:35 PM »
how far did he throw it on the last play of the first half?



 :notexas:

Well to be honest, about 5 yards less than he needed to. 

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Online JoeBobHog

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #313 on: October 16, 2016, 09:12:34 PM »
way farther than I thought he could.



 :notexas:

Irvin: BWAAHAHAHA! (yelling) Aw mane!  Deion, scrin scranton!  BWAAHAHAHA!  Got to grisna!  Like T.O.!  BWAAHAHAHA!
Sanders: BWAAHAHAHA!
Marino: OK, well like we were saying before, McNair will display the toughness and show the kind of heart that…
Irvin: BWAAAHAHAHA! (yelling) You know I scrilleous crate!  Grab a pen in traven!  BWAAAHAHAHA!  Sh*t!  Now I’m say!  Aw mane!
Sanders: HA HA!  Crenious shanta!  BWAAAHAHAHA!   Marino: What?
Irvin: BWAAAHAHAHA! (pushes Sanders in shoulder, falls backward out of chair)
Sanders:  Aw mane!  Irvin: (from ground)  BWAAAHAHAHA!

Online Filthy_McSwine

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #314 on: October 16, 2016, 09:51:33 PM »
Well to be honest, about 5 yards less than he needed to.

I fully expected us to catch it on the 1 yard line.


Online The Reverend Snoophogg

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #315 on: October 16, 2016, 10:07:14 PM »
how far did he throw it on the last play of the first half?



 :notexas:

Did they say on TV or anything?  I swear it looked like 75-80 fucking yards..but I was drunk and suffering from altitude sickness.

On a brighter note, this was my view every time I sat down.  Sorry if this is someone's daughter....but if so...your daughter has a great ass...and either I was hallucinating or her shorts were bedazzlelized.

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #316 on: October 16, 2016, 10:12:38 PM »
Worse than all that, he watched the game on tv. Nobody that watches on tv is allowed to comment.

Well actually, no.  I went to the La Tech game.

Still, that first post is embarrassing.


Offline Arkansas Proud

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #317 on: October 16, 2016, 10:25:28 PM »
Well actually, no.  I went to the La Tech game.

Still, that first post is embarrassing.

Remember who was commenting though.

"I completely agree." -- Stephen Coalboar on August 22, 2014 at 11:39 a.m.

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #318 on: October 16, 2016, 10:31:33 PM »
Remember who was commenting though.

Well I'm lost then.  When you say "he watched on TV," who are you talking about?


Online Thin Red Swine

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #319 on: October 17, 2016, 07:28:16 AM »
Did they say on TV or anything?  I swear it looked like 75-80 fucking yards..but I was drunk and suffering from altitude sickness.

On a brighter note, this was my view every time I sat down.  Sorry if this is someone's daughter....but if so...your daughter has a great ass...and either I was hallucinating or her shorts were bedazzlelized.

Were your seats on the moon?

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Offline goporkyourself

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #320 on: October 17, 2016, 07:38:47 AM »
Did they say on TV or anything?  I swear it looked like 75-80 fucking yards..but I was drunk and suffering from altitude sickness.

On a brighter note, this was my view every time I sat down.  Sorry if this is someone's daughter....but if so...your daughter has a great ass...and either I was hallucinating or her shorts were bedazzlelized.

that old lady hand is terrifying.


Offline HRC

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #321 on: October 17, 2016, 07:47:30 AM »
Well I'm lost then.  When you say "he watched on TV," who are you talking about?

He's talking about me and my defense of attending fans by those who complain about the crowd sucking. I've gotten some beatdowns because of it  :tiw:

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Offline Rick B.

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #322 on: October 17, 2016, 08:02:08 AM »
He's talking about me and my defense of attending fans by those who complain about the crowd sucking. I've gotten some beatdowns because of it  :tiw:
Agreed.  Cheap ass bastards who can't put their asses in a seat have no business bitching about crowd noise.


Offline notaslibro

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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #323 on: October 17, 2016, 09:05:24 AM »
Agreed.  Cheap ass bastards who can't put their asses in a seat have no business bitching about crowd noise.

Hey, we don't all make nucular engineer money around here, pal.  You sit up there in your fancy split-level home eating your three-eyed fish dinners and look down on us like you're better than us somehow.


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Re: Austin Allen's tool is bigger than yours
« Reply #324 on: October 17, 2016, 09:16:16 AM »
Were your seats on the moon?

The dark side of...

At least it felt that way.  Funny thing is, they were the exact same seats I sat in September 8or9...2001 against Tennessee....the lightning and thunderbolts game...

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