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Author Topic: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball  (Read 5730 times)

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Offline Son_of_Spam

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Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« on: April 21, 2022, 09:20:43 AM »
Your Arkansas Razorbacks hit the road this week for a three game series with the collie loving Aggies of Texas A&M. First game is Friday at 7:30PM on the SEC Network. Should end around midnight. Second game is Saturday at 2:00PM on SECN+ and the Watch ESPN app. Sunday’s game is at 1:00PM on SECN+ and WatchESPN app. We need this series. Hopefully our starters will give a good 6-7 innings and our relievers (not “1 good inning” Ramage) will finish it off. We will now get to see if Slavens has really come out of his slump (as long as he still has a right eye after that foul ball hit him there.) As usual, GO HOGS!

The room looked like the site of some horrible zoological experiment involving whiskey and gorillas....

Offline jsimp

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2022, 11:01:00 AM »
its supposed to hot as hell down there. like high 80s low 90s. maybe thats good for our offense. gonna be a tough series


Offline Hogworth Ballington III

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2022, 12:05:56 PM »
I always thought it was better for the pitchers on hot days. Easier to get warm. Though I wonder if you pay for it in duration? Like an engine running hotter longer. Probably doesn't matter much, but would like to see statistics on it.

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Offline SpiderHam

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2022, 12:39:07 PM »
I always thought it was better for the pitchers on hot days. Easier to get warm. Though I wonder if you pay for it in duration? Like an engine running hotter longer. Probably doesn't matter much, but would like to see statistics on it.
Ball travels farther when hit when it is warm.  A little wind and warm temps = long 15-10 type games.


Offline Hogworth Ballington III

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #4 on: April 21, 2022, 01:20:42 PM »
Ball travels farther when hit when it is warm.  A little wind and warm temps = long 15-10 type games.

I didn't mean it was better for pitchers than it was for hitters. Just that pitchers might prefer hot days over cold for warming up. I remember reading something comparing fastballs in the first part of the season compared to July-Aug and there was a large statistical significance suggesting improved velocity in warmer weather. But that could also be due to arms being in midseason form rather than knocking off the winter rust.

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Offline HogNrock

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #5 on: April 21, 2022, 02:52:13 PM »
Some players just like and play better in different temperatures.  For me, give me 95 degrees vs 45 and I pitched and hit/played the field.  I'd take 95 for both scenarios  I hated having to wear thermals playing.  I hated Feb/March baseball


Offline Thin Red Swine

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #6 on: April 21, 2022, 05:12:55 PM »
Just looking at their recent scores, they’ve been playing some good ball, for sure in conference play.  They’ve won series AT LSU and AT Georgia.

I’ll take 2 out of 3 there right now and consider it a strong result. 


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Offline DirkPiggler

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2022, 08:39:16 AM »
I'll probably be available for PBP tonight if needed, but won't be Saturday or Sunday.

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Offline hogsrunwild

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #8 on: April 22, 2022, 01:41:13 PM »
Some players just like and play better in different temperatures.  For me, give me 95 degrees vs 45 and I pitched and hit/played the field.  I'd take 95 for both scenarios  I hated having to wear thermals playing.  I hated Feb/March baseball
Same.  I fucking hated fielding or hitting when it was cold as fuck.  Foul one off the tip end of the bat or off the hands in freezing temps…

It always seemed cold as fuck playing at Winslow and Decatur for some reason

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Also, I want to have sex in and around your mouth. Please tell me you're in central Arkansas so we can meet up.  I'm not hard to find.

Can our Admin change the thread title to Austin Allen's Cock?  If so, then put me down for 10 inches, at least.

Offline DirkPiggler

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #9 on: April 22, 2022, 07:27:15 PM »
It's almost time to beat the shit out of some socially awkward, semi-literate, animal husbanding, collie molesting, stolen valor fake army mother fuckers!

Your Arkansas Razorbacks will take their stand against animal abuse tonight when the face the dipshits from the University of Texas A&M.

Starting lineups:

Sheep Sexers

1. Brett Minnich RF
2. Dylan Rock LF
3.  Jack Moss 1B
4. Troy Claunch C
5. Ryan Targac 2B
6. Austin Bost DH
7. Trevor Werner 3B
8. Kole Kaler SS
9. Jordan Thompson CF

(Editor's Note:  didn't this guy play SS last weekend for the corndogs?  This transfer portal thing may have gone a bit too far.)

P. Nathan Dettmer RHP

YOUR ARKANSAS NON-SHEEPFUCKING RAZORBACKS!

1. Cayden Wallace 3B
2. Brady Slavens DH
3. Chris Lanzilli RF
4. Michael Turner C
5. Jalen Battles SS
6. Big Game Bob 2B
7. Braydon (one letter from greatness) Webb CF
8. Zack Gregory LF
9. Peyton Stovall 1B

P.  Connor Noland and his Quality Balls RHP.

First pitch 7:30 pm (for our Aggy visitors, that's when the little hand gets on the 7, and the big hand on the 6).


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Offline Son_of_Spam

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #10 on: April 22, 2022, 07:34:49 PM »
Fucking softball….

The room looked like the site of some horrible zoological experiment involving whiskey and gorillas....

Offline DirkPiggler

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #11 on: April 22, 2022, 07:35:18 PM »
Top 1st.

Wallace strikes out looking. 1 out.

Slavens flies out to deep LF.  2 outs.

Lanzilli strikes out swinging.  3 outs.

End 1st.  0-0.

« Last Edit: April 22, 2022, 07:37:30 PM by DirkPiggler »
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Offline bleedinred

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #12 on: April 22, 2022, 07:35:23 PM »
Go to the ESPN app.

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Offline DirkPiggler

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #13 on: April 22, 2022, 07:39:08 PM »
Go to the ESPN app.

Apparently I'm an even bigger dumbass than first thought.  I've been fucking around trying to get logged into Apple TV for twenty minutes, and had no idea the game was on real TV. 

Someone please help the retarded guy (me) and let me know when it switches from softball to our game on SECN.

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Offline DirkPiggler

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #14 on: April 22, 2022, 07:42:45 PM »
Bottom 1st.

Minnich pops out to...the CF wall.  Apparently in Aggy World the wind can blow out instead of in 30 mph every game. 1 out.

Dwayne Johnson grounds out weakly to Noland.  2 outs.

Meoff grounds out slightly more solidly to Noland...nice play Connor...3 outs.

End 1st.  0-0.

« Last Edit: April 22, 2022, 07:45:35 PM by DirkPiggler »
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Offline DirkPiggler

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #15 on: April 22, 2022, 07:50:44 PM »
Top 2nd.

Turner ends a 37 pitch at bat with a grounder up the middle right at the SS.  1 out.

Battles strikes out on a check swing that was close but shouldn't have been called.  2 outs.

Moore flies out to LF.  3 outs.

Mid 2nd. 0-0.  Piss break.



« Last Edit: April 22, 2022, 07:54:12 PM by DirkPiggler »
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Offline Son_of_Spam

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #16 on: April 22, 2022, 07:52:19 PM »
Fuck this ump.

The room looked like the site of some horrible zoological experiment involving whiskey and gorillas....

Offline Son_of_Spam

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #17 on: April 22, 2022, 07:54:56 PM »
Game moving to SEC Network.

The room looked like the site of some horrible zoological experiment involving whiskey and gorillas....

Offline DirkPiggler

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #18 on: April 22, 2022, 07:57:52 PM »
Bottom 2nd.

Clunch flies out to CF. 1 out.

Tarmac strikes out looking.  Sit down bitch.  2 outs.

Bost flies out to my man ZG.  3 outs.

End 2nd.  0-0. 



« Last Edit: April 22, 2022, 08:01:17 PM by DirkPiggler »
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Offline DirkPiggler

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #19 on: April 22, 2022, 08:02:52 PM »
Top 3rd.

ATTENTION:  THE FAKE ARMY PITCHER HAS A NO HITTER GOING.  REPEAT.  THE FAKE ARMY PITCHER HAS A NO HITTER GOING.

Webb strikes out swinging.  1 out.

Gregory, who has neither walked nor been hit by a pitch so far tonight, grounds out to 2nd.  2 outs.

Stovall singles to RF.  Fuck your no-hitter bitch.  Runner on 1st, 2 outs.

Wallace strikes out swinging at a terrible pitch, after an otherwise good at-bat. 3 outs.

Mid 3rd.  0-0.









« Last Edit: April 22, 2022, 08:11:38 PM by DirkPiggler »
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Offline DirkPiggler

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #20 on: April 22, 2022, 08:16:14 PM »
Bottom 3rd.

Werner walks* on a full count.  Runner on 1st, 0 out.

*Werner checked his swing on what would've been strike three.  I think the ump got it right, but it was no more of a swing than the one that rung up Battles in the 2nd.

Noland throws over and comes close to picking off Werner.  Play under review.  Won't be overturned...he barely got back. 

Kole Kaler strikes out for the first KKK of the night.  Sit down bitch.  Runner on 1st, 1 out.

The LSU SS strikes out.  Sit down bitch.  Runner on 1st, 2 outs.

Minnich grounds into a force out at 2nd.  3 outs.

End 3rd.  0-0. 




« Last Edit: April 22, 2022, 08:26:18 PM by DirkPiggler »
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Offline Son_of_Spam

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #21 on: April 22, 2022, 08:20:44 PM »
Good Lord. You would think the Faggies were the best team in the nation according to these announcers.

The room looked like the site of some horrible zoological experiment involving whiskey and gorillas....

Offline bleedinred

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #22 on: April 22, 2022, 08:29:04 PM »
I was just thinking the announcers have been very pro hogs so far.

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Offline DirkPiggler

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #23 on: April 22, 2022, 08:30:43 PM »
Top 4th.

Slavens nearly murders the pitcher, whose glove accidentally finds a 110 mph piss missile.  1 out.

(EDITOR'S NOTE:  it was actually a 106 mph piss missile. My apologies for the hyperbole)

Lanzilli singles to LF.  Runner on 1st, 1 out.

Turner grounds out weakly to 2nd.  Lanzilli advances to 2nd.  Runner on 2nd, 2 outs.

Battles strikes out swinging.  3 outs.

Mid 4th. 0-0.







« Last Edit: April 22, 2022, 08:38:59 PM by DirkPiggler »
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Offline DirkPiggler

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Re: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball
« Reply #24 on: April 22, 2022, 08:31:23 PM »
I was just thinking the announcers have been very pro hogs so far.

They've been fair.

I like Burke.  He's definitely given the Hogs credit in the past when deserved. 

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