Author Topic: Hogs vs. eATMe——Baseball (Read 5729 times)

DirkPiggler · « **Reply #25 on:** April 22, 2022, 08:42:19 PM »

Bottom 4th.

Not Dwayne Johnson grounds one to Wallace...for the first time Stovall misses the scoop. Ball goes into dugout, advancing NDJ to 2nd. Runner on 2nd, 0 out.

Meoff grounds out to BGB. Runner on 3rd, 1 out.

Clunch singles to LF. NDJ scores. 1-0 Fake Army. Runner on 1st, 1 out.

Tarmac walks. Runners 1st and 2nd, 1 out.

Bost singles to CF. Bases full of animal rapists, 1 out.

Werner flies out to shallow RF. Bases full of outcasts, 2 outs.

Kole Kameron Kaler walks. 2-0 Fake Army. Bases still full of goat fuckers, 2 outs.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: Connor's balls have definitely not been quality in this inning. How do you walk that walleyed fuck?)

LSU SS grounds out. 3 outs.

End 4th. Incest 2 Normal sex 0

goporkyourself · « **Reply #26 on:** April 22, 2022, 08:51:39 PM »

Jebus that Aggie dude got 15 minutes of air time.

goporkyourself · « **Reply #27 on:** April 22, 2022, 08:56:31 PM »

Strike zone has shrinked

HogTat · « **Reply #28 on:** April 22, 2022, 08:57:34 PM »

I blame this inning on interviewing a collie fucker for 1/2 an hour.

Son_of_Spam · « **Reply #29 on:** April 22, 2022, 08:59:18 PM »

Quote from: HogTat on April 22, 2022, 08:57:34 PM

I blame this inning on interviewing a collie fucker for 1/2 an hour.

Glad the game was on TV or we would have never known what happened in the actual game.

goporkyourself · « **Reply #30 on:** April 22, 2022, 08:59:48 PM »

I muted the tv. It was annoying

DirkPiggler · « **Reply #31 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:00:56 PM »

Top 5th.

Big Game Bob pops out to shallow RF. 1 out.

Webb pops out to shallow LF. 2 outs.

Gregory, who has yet to walk or be hit by a pitch tonight, strikes out looking. 3 outs.

First off, the pitch was indeed a strike. Not complaining about the call at all. But the ump 1) started calling the pitch when the ball was 20 feet from home plate, and 2) he was as fired up as any toothless retard in the partisan Aggy crowd. I think we can say that the home plate ump has been compromised.

Mid 5th. We suck tonight 0, They suck horse peters 2.

HogTat · « **Reply #32 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:04:55 PM »

Quote from: goporkyourself on April 22, 2022, 08:56:31 PM

Strike zone has shrinked

Not for them.

Feral · « **Reply #33 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:05:22 PM »

This home plate ump is fucking us with our drawers on.

Wouldn’t call shit a strike when Noland was on the bump in the 4th, and yet all three called strikes on Gregory were horrible calls.

DirkPiggler · « **Reply #34 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:06:34 PM »

Bottom 5th.

Minnich flies out to LF. 1 out.

Dwayne Johnson flies out to RF. 2 outs.

Meoff strikes out swinging. Sit down bitch. 3 outs.

End 5th. Them 2 Us nil.

goporkyourself · « **Reply #35 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:07:04 PM »

Quote from: HogTat on April 22, 2022, 09:04:55 PM

Not for them.

No shit.

DirkPiggler · « **Reply #36 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:15:44 PM »

Top 6th.

Stovall singles to CF. Runner on 1st, 0 out.

Wild pitch moves Stovall to 2nd. Runner on 2nd, 0 out.

Wallace walks. Or was grazed by the 3-1 pitch. One or the other. Either way, runners 1st and 2nd, 0 out.

PITCHING CHANGE. Jacob Palish in to replace Dettmer. For pronunciation purposes, that's Palish, as in "Get on your knees and polish that knob, Aggy bitch."

This pitching change brought to you by the 11 (out of 2,500) Aggie Cadets who will go on to serve in our country's armed forces after graduation. All of our insults about the fake army are addressed to the other 99.56% of your Cadet brethren who are just there to play dress up. Thank you, all eleven of you, for your future service.

Slavens flies out to fairly deep RF. Stovall moves to 3rd. Runners 1st and 3rd, 1 out.

Lanzilli strikes out. Horrible at bat with a runner at 3rd and fewer than two outs. Took a meat ball for strike two, then a terrible half ass swing for strike three. Runners 1st and 3rd, 2 outs.

Turner rips a single to RF. Stovall scores. Wallace to 3rd. 2-1 Fake Army. Runners 1st and 3rd, 2 outs.

Battles strikes out looking. 3 outs.

Mid 6th. Collie Fuckers 2, Human Fuckers 1

Razor B · « **Reply #37 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:33:18 PM »

I loathe A&M.

Feral · « **Reply #38 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:33:57 PM »

Terrible ABs there by Lanzilli and Battles

DrMongoose · « **Reply #39 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:34:21 PM »

Wtf - Battles takes strike 3 right down the middle.

WTF was that mid inning dance ? [emoji849][emoji15]

DirkPiggler · « **Reply #40 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:35:22 PM »

Bottom 6th.

Claunch strikes out looking. Sit down bitch. 1 out.

Tarmac strikes out looking. Sit down bitch. 2 outs.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: Just to show that we are fair and, ahem, impartial, it's worth noting that the ump got pretty worked up with that strike three call as well.)

Lost strikes out swinging. Sit down bitch. 3 outs.

Noland sits down all three bitches. That's seven sit down bitches through six innings.

End 6th. Loves the taste of beer 1. Loves the taste of sheep dick 2.

Son_of_Spam · « **Reply #41 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:35:51 PM »

Quote from: DrMongoose on April 22, 2022, 09:34:21 PM

Wtf - Battles takes strike 3 right down the middle.

WTF was that mid inning dance ? [emoji849][emoji15]

They we’re practicing to be football cheer squad members. And those have to be the gayest thing I have ever seen.

Feral · « **Reply #42 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:40:33 PM »

Over the Hogs needs to step up and be a ‘barrel’ here amirite?

DirkPiggler · « **Reply #43 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:41:55 PM »

Top 7th.

Big Game Bob hit by the first pitch he sees from the right side. Runner on 1st, 0 out.

Webb rips one into the LF corner. Runners 2nd and 3rd, 0 out.

Gregory, who has yet to be hit by a pitch tonight that he didn't bunt into himself, strikes out swinging. Runners 2nd and 3rd, 1 out.

Stovall strikes out at a pitch way off the plate. Fuck. Runners 2nd and 3rd, 2 outs.

Wallace intentionally walked. Pussies. Bases loaded, 2 outs. BEER HATS ENGAGED!

Slavens pops up. FUCK. 3 outs.

Not our night tonight guys.

Mid 7th. 2-1 them.

ArkGuy · « **Reply #44 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:46:15 PM »

Why he gave up a strike by trying to bunt with men on 2nd and 3rd, no out, is a mystery.

Son_of_Spam · « **Reply #45 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:47:59 PM »

These last two at bats have been awful.

DirkPiggler · « **Reply #46 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:48:17 PM »

Quote from: ArkGuy on April 22, 2022, 09:46:15 PM

Why he gave up a strike by trying to bunt with men on 2nd and 3rd, no out, is a mystery.

Because he hits for shit against lefties.

Feral · « **Reply #47 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:48:23 PM »

How many times have we looked at a strike right down the middle and then proceeded to hack at the next few pitches in the dirt or way outside the zone.

Our plate approach tonight is fucking horrendous.

jsimp · « **Reply #48 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:48:27 PM »

Fuck

Son_of_Spam · « **Reply #49 on:** April 22, 2022, 09:50:55 PM »

Well, we screwed the pooch in that inning. (And not like the Aggies do every night)