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Author Topic: Hogs vs UCA Bears—-Baseball  (Read 2291 times)

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Offline DrMongoose

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Re: Hogs vs UCA Bears—-Baseball
« Reply #75 on: April 27, 2022, 07:23:51 PM »
Not me. I do not move through the world that way. It can take me anywhere from 10 minutes to 45 minutes to get from Barling to downtown Fort Smith. Always fucking obstacles popping up everywhere. Trying to keep me down. Yesterday, I planned to head to North Little Rock at 1. I had to run to Walmart in the morning. The termite guy was scheduled to come by at 12. I had to get a haircut. And I've got a little work to do before all that after a zoom meeting at 8. Zoom meeting is over EVERY MORNING at 830. Yesterday? 845. Then computer problems. Finally got to Sports Clips at 930. Then, of course, the girl takes her sweet time. Out of there at 1030. Get to Walmart. Get 90% of the stuff I need... Wander around for 5 6 minutes trying to find pool salt. Finally find it. Go to check out. Wife texts me with 3 more things to get at the opposite side of the store. Ugh. I barely make it home by 12. Termite guy is running late. Finally get in the shower at 1. Leave at 1:45. EVERY FUCKING TIME.

Even if I get up an hour early, shit always happens. My buddy ZeusHog, he's the opposite. Gets EVERY green light. He and I could head up separately to go to Fayetteville, leaving simultaneously, and drive 80 on 49 and he'd get there 15 minutes before me. He has no stupid fuckers going 70 in the left lane while an 18 wheeler is going 50 in the other lane. I do. It's truly amazing.

a hour to CUT YOUR HAIR???

what is she doing ? Cutting one hair a minute?

I thought you used a flowbee

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Online DirkPiggler

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Re: Hogs vs UCA Bears—-Baseball
« Reply #76 on: April 27, 2022, 07:26:06 PM »
Dear Lord, I can't tell you the number of times I've hastily exited in Johnson or near there because the app was showing gridlock near NWA mall exit or whatever. Wreck at Wagon Wheel or Don Tyson Parkway.

But yeah, from FSM to NLR, it was smooth sailing. Absolutely didn't need the GPS but used it anyway.

Dad: "What time are you going to arrive here?"

Me: "3:57, plus or minus 3 minutes."

Arrived at 3:56.

Not me at all.

I consider it a challenge to destroy the estimated time Waze puts up. 

On one of my regular drives back from Louisiana I routinely save 20 minutes (on a 3-ish hour drive) even with a piss stop.

?s=20

Offline Rick B.

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Re: Hogs vs UCA Bears—-Baseball
« Reply #77 on: April 27, 2022, 07:35:52 PM »
a hour to CUT YOUR HAIR???

what is she doing ? Cutting one hair a minute?

I thought you used a flowbee
No. I get there at 930. She finally gets done with the guy in front of me then jabbers with her coworkers. Then takes her sweet time cleaning up her station. I got the MVP plus a beard trim. So yeah, I was in the building an hour. Normal humans would be there for 30 minutes.


Offline BASS

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Re: Hogs vs UCA Bears—-Baseball
« Reply #78 on: April 27, 2022, 07:49:31 PM »
a hour to CUT YOUR HAIR???

what is she doing ? Cutting one hair a minute?

I thought you used a flowbee

I had the exact same thoughts

fuck your feelings

Online Show-Me Hog

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Re: Hogs vs UCA Bears—-Baseball
« Reply #79 on: April 27, 2022, 08:16:37 PM »
As long as we're talking weird male superpowers, in the morning I can also tell the temperature within one or two degrees. I mean without looking at the weather or hearing the news. I'll walk out to go to work, think it's about 55°, and my car tells me it's 54. I feel like it's freezing, and my car tells me it's 32.

I don't know of a way to monetize these skills.


Online Aporkalypse_Now

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Re: Hogs vs UCA Bears—-Baseball
« Reply #80 on: April 27, 2022, 08:16:57 PM »
I was waiting for that question.

I drive damn near everywhere with my GPS.  I drive to Rogers 3 days a week to work and I use Google Maps constantly.  It has traffic snarls, speed traps, vehicles on the road.  ETC.  And gives me a quite precise ETA.  Heck, I even use it to go from Rogers to Baum-Walker Stadium.  I use it to go from Sonny's apartment to Alumni Hall on College.  I use it to go to Local Lime in Rogers from DWRRS.  That's just the way I roll.

That sounds helpful, unfortunately my Y chromosome won't allow it.


Online Hogworth Ballington III

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Re: Hogs vs UCA Bears—-Baseball
« Reply #81 on: April 27, 2022, 08:17:23 PM »
Not me at all.

I consider it a challenge to destroy the estimated time Waze puts up. 

On one of my regular drives back from Louisiana I routinely save 20 minutes (on a 3-ish hour drive) even with a piss stop.

I do the same, but I put an added twist of trying to lower my avg mpg while I'm shaving time. Like doing wordle on hard mode.

I just want to get paid for sucking ass

Offline DrMongoose

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Re: Hogs vs UCA Bears—-Baseball
« Reply #82 on: April 27, 2022, 08:48:52 PM »
As long as we're talking weird male superpowers, in the morning I can also tell the temperature within one or two degrees. I mean without looking at the weather or hearing the news. I'll walk out to go to work, think it's about 55°, and my car tells me it's 54. I feel like it's freezing, and my car tells me it's 32.

I don't know of a way to monetize these skills.

my knees and hips can tell me when it's 32 degrees or lower when I wake up.

 :dude1:

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Online Thin Red Swine

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Re: Hogs vs UCA Bears—-Baseball
« Reply #83 on: April 27, 2022, 08:56:35 PM »
As long as we're talking weird male superpowers, in the morning I can also tell the temperature within one or two degrees. I mean without looking at the weather or hearing the news. I'll walk out to go to work, think it's about 55°, and my car tells me it's 54. I feel like it's freezing, and my car tells me it's 32.

I don't know of a way to monetize these skills.

I’m that way with just knowing what time it is.  I’m rarely more than two or three minutes off.   

I’m also rarely late.  Without GPS.   

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Online hit_that_line

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Re: Hogs vs UCA Bears—-Baseball
« Reply #84 on: April 27, 2022, 08:57:41 PM »
Rick B is spamming my Twitter feed as a suggested follow


Offline Rick B.

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Re: Hogs vs UCA Bears—-Baseball
« Reply #85 on: April 28, 2022, 12:16:27 PM »
Rick B is spamming my Twitter feed as a suggested follow

Yes.  Because me and your other arch nemesis Elon are friends and I asked him if he'd do that for me.