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Author Topic: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!  (Read 569933 times)

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Offline Count Porkula

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #125 on: December 15, 2008, 09:55:14 PM »
anyone got any Days O' Work plug they wanna trade?
Resonance...metal folding chairs or hard tile floors cannot be beaten when it comes to firing off a loud fart.

Offline cotte

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #126 on: December 15, 2008, 10:08:42 PM »
It's cold as aMm here with intermittent sleet but I'm cozy and warm laying up here next to Hoggly's mom. Worked out perfect on my night, bishes.  :2bird:

Ha ha - once again you are a tad bit late. I had the day off and we made whoopy underneath her fire place right before the roads got bad.

Then, I sent her for some Paps and cigars. I left around 8, just in time to catch the Witness to Jonestown documentary.

Starkville, Joebob high fived me on the way out. You have to start taking an earlier number.
We're going to pick em up when they come off the damn bus. We gonna guard people.
Mike Anderson - March 26th, 2011

Offline ups_hog

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #127 on: December 15, 2008, 10:24:10 PM »
It's cold as aMm here with intermittent sleet but I'm cozy and warm laying up here next to Hoggly's mom. Worked out perfect on my night, bishes.  :2bird:

It's obvious you really care about her since you keep her picture in your avatar.  Don't see that kinda love much anymore these days.

Offline cotte

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #128 on: December 15, 2008, 10:27:27 PM »
It's obvious you really care about her since you keep her picture in your avatar.  Don't see that kinda love much anymore these days.

 :maundoed:
We're going to pick em up when they come off the damn bus. We gonna guard people.
Mike Anderson - March 26th, 2011

Offline DRod70

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #129 on: December 15, 2008, 10:29:38 PM »
It's obvious you really care about her since you keep her picture in your avatar.  Don't see that kinda love much anymore these days.

You've been getting skipped haven't you.

Bane

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #130 on: December 15, 2008, 10:31:31 PM »
right on.  all the real men will be out working.

Actually, I was just working the reverse jinx to a tee.

Now that I've made that proclamation, my company will happily have it's doors open for business tomorrow, and I'll have to get up at 6am to call in and find out.  Beautiful.

Offline Hacker

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #131 on: December 15, 2008, 10:45:44 PM »
Things are looking dire in Searcy County. I'm going to poach a river elk for food and dispose of the collar in a rocky gorge.  Then I fear I must set my meth lab on fire for warmth.

If you want to save the meth lab, just gut that elk and sleep inside his body cavity.

Offline bigghurtt

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #132 on: December 15, 2008, 10:48:13 PM »

You jobbed your eye out 6 months ago? 



I decided I'm so hard core I don't even need those fuckers, so I gave them to the Salvation Army to give to people too poor to afford ping-pong balls for their game rooms.

I have generated my sight since then by formulating an image of my surroundings in my mind from the information gathered from my other senses.  Using this technique, I have won 2 Madden tournaments and 3 Boggle World Championships in the last 15 hours, and was able to accurately count the stars in the sky, including some that have yet to be discovered.

I briefly contemplated removing my tongue to further even myself out with the rest of humanity, but word got out and I received 495,000 letters from women protesting (actual letters...I had to delete my email account for bandwidth violations, so we'll never know how many of those I received).
This next post was made by a real dumbass.

Offline Stephen Colboar

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #133 on: December 15, 2008, 10:48:57 PM »
If you want to save the meth lab, just gut that elk and sleep inside his body cavity.
That's what a true grizzled man would do.


God damn it, I hate living near my work in town.
I have no fricking excuse to not go tomorrow.

Offline Stephen Colboar

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #134 on: December 15, 2008, 10:52:18 PM »
More fricking sleet. God damn it.

Offline notaslibro

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #135 on: December 15, 2008, 10:59:37 PM »
It's so cold in Arkansas tonight.

How cold is it?



Rick Schaeffer velcroed the Thinsulate liner into his Janie Frickie wig.

Pat Bradley ate Jennings Osborne and never broke a sweat.

Craig O'Neil found Dirty Man, Peter Miller, and the rest of the Dan Blocker singers burning old couch cushions in the folds of his lips.  He was too kind to make them leave or extinguish the flames.

Beaver Lake froze over.  You can see the amphitheater in the glow of the moon.  (No part of this statement is a reference to Jancey Sheats.)

Someone ate a steak from Doe's and said "Holy aMm, that's a lot of money for a terrible steak.  Also, it's really cold outside right now."




Bane

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #136 on: December 15, 2008, 11:03:10 PM »
It's so cold in Arkansas tonight.

How cold is it?



Rick Schaeffer velcroed the Thinsulate liner into his Janie Frickie wig.

Pat Bradley ate Jennings Osborne and never broke a sweat.

Craig O'Neil found Dirty Man, Peter Miller, and the rest of the Dan Blocker singers burning old couch cushions in the folds of his lips.  He was too kind to make them leave or extinguish the flames.

Beaver Lake froze over.  You can see the amphitheater in the glow of the moon.  (No part of this statement is a reference to Jancey Sheats.)

Someone ate a steak from Doe's and said "Holy aMm, that's a lot of money for a terrible steak.  Also, it's really cold outside right now."





You started out with promise, and faltered at the finish line... Starkville, even Saddle Creek across the river is better than an over-hyped Doe's.

Offline notaslibro

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #137 on: December 15, 2008, 11:07:26 PM »
You started out with promise, and faltered at the finish line... Starkville, even Saddle Creek across the river is better than an over-hyped Doe's.

.

Offline Deja Vu

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #138 on: December 15, 2008, 11:14:59 PM »
It's so cold in Arkansas tonight.

How cold is it?



Rick Schaeffer velcroed the Thinsulate liner into his Janie Frickie wig.

Pat Bradley ate Jennings Osborne and never broke a sweat.

Craig O'Neil found Dirty Man, Peter Miller, and the rest of the Dan Blocker singers burning old couch cushions in the folds of his lips.  He was too kind to make them leave or extinguish the flames.

Beaver Lake froze over.  You can see the amphitheater in the glow of the moon.  (No part of this statement is a reference to Jancey Sheats.)

Someone ate a steak from Doe's and said "Holy aMm, that's a lot of money for a terrible steak.  Also, it's really cold outside right now."




Janie Frickie.

I've seen it all on Woppussy. Now let's stop talkin' about it.

I'm perplexed by the negative feedback. I just don't get it. What's wrong with you?


No, why are ya'll going through my myspace and stuff, obsessive??

Offline notaslibro

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #139 on: December 16, 2008, 01:04:02 AM »
Janie Frickie.

I've seen it all on Woppussy. Now let's stop talkin' about it.

It's clear that you want to joke about the reference, but your heart's not in it.


 :suicide:

Offline bakervscarrr

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #140 on: December 16, 2008, 07:30:58 AM »
It's so cold in Arkansas tonight.

How cold is it?




Craig O'Neil found Dirty Man, Peter Miller, and the rest of the Dan Blocker singers burning old couch cushions in the folds of his lips.  He was too kind to make them leave or extinguish the flames.


Is Dirty Man the same as Mr. Stinky?  Lanky, scraggly, headphones, may or may not hiss at you as he passes?

Offline Buffinator

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #141 on: December 16, 2008, 07:41:55 AM »
So I left a little before 7 to head into work this morning,  turned left onto Stagecoach, and went sliding right over to the far side.  It was just after that that I finally got the phone call that we weren't working today.  It's crazy.  The neighborhood roads are bone-dry, but the highway is apparently really slippery.  A lesser man would be scared of that fact, but I am about to head back out there and see if I can break my sliding record.

Offline hogthebountyhunter

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #142 on: December 16, 2008, 08:23:15 AM »
A lesser man would be scared of that fact, but I am about to head back out there and see if I can break my sliding record.

If you don't mind me asking, what is your record?

Offline Buffinator

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #143 on: December 16, 2008, 09:31:48 AM »
a meager 97 feet before hitting a curb

Offline Pumpkin Escobar

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #144 on: December 16, 2008, 10:23:52 AM »
I had 4" of fresh snow and a mountain to come down from some of it unpaved this morning. My XTerra judo chops snow.
An té nach leigheasann im nó uisce beatha, ní aon leigheas ar.
 
Tiocfaidh ár lá! Éireann go brách!

Offline aNiMaL

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #145 on: December 16, 2008, 10:24:05 AM »
If you don't mind me asking, what is your record?

I did about 8 360's in high school in my 54 ford truck and a truck driver got out and about whipped my ass. He thought I was doing it on purpose but really I was just trying to pull out onto the main road to get to school.

Don't ever recall sliding very far, well I've made it about mid way up a hill a few times only to rest at the bottom with all the other idiots but that's par for the course.

And so it was that later
As the miller told his tale
That her face, at first just ghostly,
Turned a whiter shade of pale

Offline Buffinator

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #146 on: December 16, 2008, 10:43:28 AM »
I had 4" of fresh snow and a mountain to come down from some of it unpaved this morning. My XTerra judo chops snow.

Did you buy this one?

Quote
http://montana.craigslist.org/cto/926508578.html

OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the heck On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? heck yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Offline Deja Vu

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #147 on: December 16, 2008, 10:47:38 AM »
Snow ain't aMm. It's teh freezing rain that people can't deal with.

I'm perplexed by the negative feedback. I just don't get it. What's wrong with you?


No, why are ya'll going through my myspace and stuff, obsessive??

johnbuk

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #148 on: December 16, 2008, 10:51:00 AM »
Yesterday the high was 8. Twas -5 on my way to work this morning.
(Normal for this time of year is mid to low 30s for highs, 20s for lows).

Offline notaslibro

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Re: Bread/Milk Alert. Storm of the century tonight!
« Reply #149 on: December 16, 2008, 11:16:52 AM »
Is Dirty Man the same as Mr. Stinky?  Lanky, scraggly, headphones, may or may not hiss at you as he passes?

Same guy.  His official occupation is listed with the IRS as "Walks Everywhere."  I've seen him downtown, in Hillcrest, and on Financial Center on the same day.

 

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