Author Topic: My Christmas Wish (Read 6288 times)

TheOtherWhiteMeat · « **Reply #25 on:** December 23, 2011, 03:07:23 PM »

Quote from: Das Uberschwein on December 23, 2011, 02:32:32 AM

Many U.S. Americans can't locate Texas on a map.

hogggdadi · « **Reply #26 on:** December 23, 2011, 03:17:46 PM »

Quote from: sainthog on December 23, 2011, 02:57:09 PM

and twins

You forgot something.

porksamich · « **Reply #27 on:** December 23, 2011, 03:56:44 PM »

I want a giant T-Rex that shoots lasers out of it's eyes so I can ride him around and reek havoc. I want a hand held gatling gun like Blain in Predator so I can shoot trees down and set them on fire with my T-Rex's laser eyes. I want a set of aviator sunglasses and a pearl grip .45 like Marion Cobretti used with a cobra on the side.

I want a box of condoms made out of alligator skin and a toothbrush with shark tooth bristles. I want a wrist watch made out of recycled gold teeth and an ink pen carved out of a cheeta fang. I'd like to have a nice button down shirt made out of grizzly fur and armadillo shell buttons. I'd prefer that shirt have "Bad Ass" embroidered on the back with thread made of the bleached hair of a Panamanian prostitute.

I want a cowboy hat made out of dragon skin and a pet octopus that has flame throwers for tentacles. I want a set of nunchucks held together with razor wire and a bullwhip made with a live rattlesnake. I want a Harley mounted on skillsaw blades that shoots ninja stars out of its exhaust pipe. I want a Washburn flying V with a wammy bar that seconds as a night stick and hippopotamus on tank tracks.

But I'll settle for some good memories with my wife and kids.

suprdave · « **Reply #28 on:** December 23, 2011, 04:01:07 PM »

Quote from: porksamich on December 23, 2011, 03:56:44 PM

I want a giant T-Rex that shoots lasers out of it's eyes so I can ride him around and reek havoc. I want a hand held gatling gun like Blain in Predator so I can shoot trees down and set them on fire with my T-Rex's laser eyes. I want a set of aviator sunglasses and a pearl grip .45 like Marion Cobretti used with a cobra on the side.

I want a box of condoms made out of alligator skin and a toothbrush with shark tooth bristles. I want a wrist watch made out of recycled gold teeth and an ink pen carved out of a cheeta fang. I'd like to have a nice button down shirt made out of grizzly fur and armadillo shell buttons. I'd prefer that shirt have "Bad Ass" embroidered on the back with thread made of the bleached hair of a Panamanian prostitute.

I want a cowboy hat made out of dragon skin and a pet octopus that has flame throwers for tentacles. I want a set of nunchucks held together with razor wire and a bullwhip made with a live rattlesnake. I want a Harley mounted on skillsaw blades that shoots ninja stars out of its exhaust pipe. I want a Washburn flying V with a wammy bar that seconds as a night stick and hippopotamus on tank tracks.

But I'll settle for some good memories with my wife and kids.

gambler · « **Reply #29 on:** December 23, 2011, 04:29:08 PM »

Quote from: TheOtherWhiteMeat on December 23, 2011, 03:07:23 PM

Many U.S. Americans can't locate Texas on a map.

subliznime · « **Reply #30 on:** December 23, 2011, 04:34:00 PM »

Quote from: muslimsdonteatme on December 22, 2011, 09:46:48 PM

I'm hoping to be shot into space straight off my couch, but I'm trying to be realistic.

My guy says he can get fungus tomorrow. This may work out.

Just stopped by my guy's on the way to visit my girlfriend's family and acquired some doses for the trip.

hope her parents dont think im too weird. HOHOHO!!!

Sliver72 · « **Reply #31 on:** December 23, 2011, 04:38:09 PM »

Quote from: porksamich on December 23, 2011, 03:56:44 PM

I want a giant T-Rex that shoots lasers out of it's eyes so I can ride him around and reek havoc. I want a hand held gatling gun like Blain in Predator so I can shoot trees down and set them on fire with my T-Rex's laser eyes. I want a set of aviator sunglasses and a pearl grip .45 like Marion Cobretti used with a cobra on the side.

I want a box of condoms made out of alligator skin and a toothbrush with shark tooth bristles. I want a wrist watch made out of recycled gold teeth and an ink pen carved out of a cheeta fang. I'd like to have a nice button down shirt made out of grizzly fur and armadillo shell buttons. I'd prefer that shirt have "Bad Ass" embroidered on the back with thread made of the bleached hair of a Panamanian prostitute.

I want a cowboy hat made out of dragon skin and a pet octopus that has flame throwers for tentacles. I want a set of nunchucks held together with razor wire and a bullwhip made with a live rattlesnake. I want a Harley mounted on skillsaw blades that shoots ninja stars out of its exhaust pipe. I want a Washburn flying V with a wammy bar that seconds as a night stick and hippopotamus on tank tracks.

But I'll settle for some good memories with my wife and kids.

Is your avatar an artistic rendering of Darrell Abbot's facial expression when the bullet entered his body? Something like this:

?
Either that or the artist that drew that picture gave him Bell's palsy.
Merry Christmas!

Sliver72 · « **Reply #32 on:** December 23, 2011, 04:39:52 PM »

Quote from: subliznime on December 23, 2011, 04:34:00 PM

Just stopped by my guy's on the way to visit my girlfriend's family and acquired some doses for the trip. hope her parents dont think im too weird. HOHOHO!!!

Color me envious. Quality self medications are difficult to come by now days.

muslimsdonteatme · « **Reply #33 on:** December 23, 2011, 04:48:01 PM »

Quote from: subliznime on December 23, 2011, 04:34:00 PM

Just stopped by my guy's on the way to visit my girlfriend's family and acquired some doses for the trip. hope her parents dont think im too weird. HOHOHO!!!

Nice. There's nothing more fun than walking into a situation where you could blow everything....and the walls are moving.

Sliver72 · « **Reply #34 on:** December 23, 2011, 04:52:14 PM »

Quote from: muslimsdonteatme on December 23, 2011, 04:48:01 PM

Nice. There's nothing more fun than walking into a situation where you could blow everything....and the walls are moving.

Agreed.

porksamich · « **Reply #35 on:** December 23, 2011, 05:05:26 PM »

Quote from: Sliver72 on December 23, 2011, 04:38:09 PM

Is your avatar an artistic rendering of Darrell Abbot's facial expression when the bullet entered his body? Something like this:
?
Either that or the artist that drew that picture gave him Bell's palsy.
Merry Christmas!

That's "Mr. Dimebag",God rest his soul, to you and don't you be forgetting it.

HogTat · « **Reply #36 on:** December 23, 2011, 05:35:35 PM »

Quote from: Sliver72 on December 23, 2011, 04:39:52 PM

Color me envious. Quality self medications are difficult to come by now days.

Not out here. It's growing all over the place. Starkville, they have a four story building downtown that has the top three floors full of hydroponics and aMm. You can smell skunk a half block away.

papermill · « **Reply #37 on:** December 23, 2011, 05:40:21 PM »

Quote from: muslimsdonteatme on December 23, 2011, 04:48:01 PM

Nice. There's nothing more fun than walking into a situation where you could blow everything....and the walls are moving.

I don't know about moving walls but I have seen several vids where Bree Olson walks into a situation where she could blow everything

Everybody looked like they were having lots of fun in those

Stephen Hawging · « **Reply #38 on:** December 23, 2011, 05:44:30 PM »

Quote from: subliznime on December 23, 2011, 04:34:00 PM

Just stopped by my guy's on the way to visit my girlfriend's family and acquired some doses for the trip. hope her parents dont think im too weird. HOHOHO!!!

Quote from: muslimsdonteatme on December 23, 2011, 04:48:01 PM

Nice. There's nothing more fun than walking into a situation where you could blow everything....and the walls are moving.

Well, when the world slips you a Jeffrey...

muslimsdonteatme · « **Reply #39 on:** December 23, 2011, 06:57:55 PM »

Quote from: HogTat on December 23, 2011, 05:35:35 PM

Not out here. It's growing all over the place. Starkville, they have a four story building downtown that has the top three floors full of hydroponics and aMm. You can smell skunk a half block away.

You have no clue.

Quote from: papermill on December 23, 2011, 05:40:21 PM

I don't know about moving walls but I have seen several vids where Bree Olson walks into a situation where she could blow everything

Everybody looked like they were having lots of fun in those

Nor do you.

Surprise, surprise.

boartitz · « **Reply #40 on:** December 23, 2011, 07:15:39 PM »

Quote from: muslimsdonteatme on December 23, 2011, 06:57:55 PM

You have no clue.

Nor do you.

Surprise, surprise.

WPFM · « **Reply #41 on:** December 23, 2011, 07:38:53 PM »

TulsaHawg bound and gagged with his Hootie boxer shorts shoved in his mouth, locked in the bathroom of his RV, whilst dancing medieval dwarfs a la Spinal Tap douse it with gasoline before a circlejerk of chain smoking WCDC parolees simultaneously flick lit cigarettes at it on the count of three.

And World Peace.

muslimsdonteatme · « **Reply #42 on:** December 23, 2011, 08:08:02 PM »

Quote from: WPFM on December 23, 2011, 07:38:53 PM

TulsaHawg bound and gagged with his Hootie boxer shorts shoved in his mouth, locked in the bathroom of his RV, whilst dancing medieval dwarfs a la Spinal Tap douse it with gasoline before a circlejerk of chain smoking WCDC parolees simultaneously flick lit cigarettes at it on the count of three.

And World Peace.

You're a weird motherfricker.

Hogtired · « **Reply #43 on:** December 23, 2011, 08:09:29 PM »

Quote from: papermill on December 23, 2011, 05:40:21 PM

I don't know about moving walls but I have seen several vids where Bree Olson walks into a situation where she could blow everything

Everybody looked like they were having lots of fun in those

Bree Olson likes buttsecks and Charlie Sheen yells "WINNING"

TheOtherWhiteMeat · « **Reply #44 on:** December 23, 2011, 08:14:25 PM »

Pork bellies.

Count Porkula · « **Reply #45 on:** December 23, 2011, 08:18:37 PM »

Quote from: TheOtherWhiteMeat on December 23, 2011, 08:14:25 PM

Pork bellies.

frozen concentrated orange-juice futures

Gamble · « **Reply #46 on:** December 23, 2011, 08:24:14 PM »

My wish would be for all posts on woopig be no longer than two sentences and and coretly punctuated.

TomTHog · « **Reply #47 on:** December 23, 2011, 08:32:45 PM »

You know what I got for Christmas? Oh, it was a banner fricking year at the old Bender family. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, "Hey, smoke up Johnny."

WPFM · « **Reply #48 on:** December 23, 2011, 08:41:07 PM »

Quote from: muslimsdonteatme on December 23, 2011, 08:08:02 PM

You're a weird motherfricker.

Do another bowl... it'll be alright.

Count Porkula · « **Reply #49 on:** December 23, 2011, 08:41:17 PM »

Quote from: Gamble on December 23, 2011, 08:24:14 PM

My wish would be for all posts on woopig be no longer than two sentences and and coretly punctuated.

how about correctly spelled as well?

oh, and animal hates your wish