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Author Topic: My Christmas Wish  (Read 7693 times)

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Offline TheOtherWhiteMeat

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #25 on: December 23, 2011, 03:07:23 PM »



Many U.S. Americans can't locate Texas on a map.

Offline hogggdadi

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #26 on: December 23, 2011, 03:17:46 PM »
You only have to be the best team today.

Offline porksamich

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #27 on: December 23, 2011, 03:56:44 PM »
I want a giant T-Rex that shoots lasers out of it's eyes so I can ride him around and reek havoc. I want a hand held gatling gun like Blain in Predator so I can shoot trees down and set them on fire with my T-Rex's laser eyes. I want a set of aviator sunglasses and a pearl grip .45 like Marion Cobretti used with a cobra on the side.

I want a box of condoms made out of alligator skin and a toothbrush with shark tooth bristles. I want a wrist watch made out of recycled gold teeth and an ink pen carved out of a cheeta fang. I'd like to have a nice button down shirt made out of grizzly fur and armadillo shell buttons. I'd prefer that shirt have "Bad Ass" embroidered on the back with thread made of the bleached hair of a Panamanian prostitute.

I want a cowboy hat made out of dragon skin and a pet octopus that has flame throwers for tentacles. I want a set of nunchucks held together with razor wire and a bullwhip made with a live rattlesnake. I want a Harley mounted on skillsaw blades that shoots ninja stars out of its exhaust pipe. I want a Washburn flying V  with a wammy bar that seconds as a night stick and hippopotamus on tank tracks.



But I'll settle for some good memories with my wife and kids.
Hmmm...  Apparently, I've eaten a bunch of monkey dicks.

Offline suprdave

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #28 on: December 23, 2011, 04:01:07 PM »
I want a giant T-Rex that shoots lasers out of it's eyes so I can ride him around and reek havoc. I want a hand held gatling gun like Blain in Predator so I can shoot trees down and set them on fire with my T-Rex's laser eyes. I want a set of aviator sunglasses and a pearl grip .45 like Marion Cobretti used with a cobra on the side.

I want a box of condoms made out of alligator skin and a toothbrush with shark tooth bristles. I want a wrist watch made out of recycled gold teeth and an ink pen carved out of a cheeta fang. I'd like to have a nice button down shirt made out of grizzly fur and armadillo shell buttons. I'd prefer that shirt have "Bad Ass" embroidered on the back with thread made of the bleached hair of a Panamanian prostitute.

I want a cowboy hat made out of dragon skin and a pet octopus that has flame throwers for tentacles. I want a set of nunchucks held together with razor wire and a bullwhip made with a live rattlesnake. I want a Harley mounted on skillsaw blades that shoots ninja stars out of its exhaust pipe. I want a Washburn flying V  with a wammy bar that seconds as a night stick and hippopotamus on tank tracks.



But I'll settle for some good memories with my wife and kids.
:thumbup:
It seems as if every mistake I've ever made in life I've had an erection in one hand and a bud light in the other.

Offline gambler

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #29 on: December 23, 2011, 04:29:08 PM »
Many U.S. Americans can't locate Texas on a map.

Offline subliznime

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #30 on: December 23, 2011, 04:34:00 PM »
I'm hoping to be shot into space straight off my couch, but I'm trying to be realistic. 

My guy says he can get fungus tomorrow.  This may work out.
Just stopped by my guy's on the way to visit my girlfriend's family and acquired some doses for the trip.  8-) hope her parents dont think im too weird. HOHOHO!!!
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Offline Sliver72

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #31 on: December 23, 2011, 04:38:09 PM »
I want a giant T-Rex that shoots lasers out of it's eyes so I can ride him around and reek havoc. I want a hand held gatling gun like Blain in Predator so I can shoot trees down and set them on fire with my T-Rex's laser eyes. I want a set of aviator sunglasses and a pearl grip .45 like Marion Cobretti used with a cobra on the side.

I want a box of condoms made out of alligator skin and a toothbrush with shark tooth bristles. I want a wrist watch made out of recycled gold teeth and an ink pen carved out of a cheeta fang. I'd like to have a nice button down shirt made out of grizzly fur and armadillo shell buttons. I'd prefer that shirt have "Bad Ass" embroidered on the back with thread made of the bleached hair of a Panamanian prostitute.

I want a cowboy hat made out of dragon skin and a pet octopus that has flame throwers for tentacles. I want a set of nunchucks held together with razor wire and a bullwhip made with a live rattlesnake. I want a Harley mounted on skillsaw blades that shoots ninja stars out of its exhaust pipe. I want a Washburn flying V  with a wammy bar that seconds as a night stick and hippopotamus on tank tracks.



But I'll settle for some good memories with my wife and kids.
Is your avatar an artistic rendering of Darrell Abbot's facial expression when the bullet entered his body? Something like this:
?
Either that or the artist that drew that picture gave him Bell's palsy.
Merry Christmas!
...as for me and my house, we will call the Hogs.

Offline Sliver72

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #32 on: December 23, 2011, 04:39:52 PM »
Just stopped by my guy's on the way to visit my girlfriend's family and acquired some doses for the trip.  8-) hope her parents dont think im too weird. HOHOHO!!!
Color me envious. Quality self medications are difficult to come by now days.
...as for me and my house, we will call the Hogs.

Offline muslimsdonteatme

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #33 on: December 23, 2011, 04:48:01 PM »
Just stopped by my guy's on the way to visit my girlfriend's family and acquired some doses for the trip.  8-) hope her parents dont think im too weird. HOHOHO!!!

Nice.  There's nothing more fun than walking into a situation where you could blow everything....and the walls are moving.   :thumbup:

Offline Sliver72

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #34 on: December 23, 2011, 04:52:14 PM »
Nice.  There's nothing more fun than walking into a situation where you could blow everything....and the walls are moving.   :thumbup:
Agreed.
...as for me and my house, we will call the Hogs.

Offline porksamich

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #35 on: December 23, 2011, 05:05:26 PM »
Is your avatar an artistic rendering of Darrell Abbot's facial expression when the bullet entered his body? Something like this:
?
Either that or the artist that drew that picture gave him Bell's palsy.
Merry Christmas!

That's "Mr. Dimebag",God rest his soul, to you and don't you be forgetting it.
Hmmm...  Apparently, I've eaten a bunch of monkey dicks.

Offline HogTat

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #36 on: December 23, 2011, 05:35:35 PM »
Color me envious. Quality self medications are difficult to come by now days.

Not out here.  It's growing all over the place.  Starkville, they have a four story building downtown that has the top three floors full of hydroponics and aMm.  You can smell skunk a half block away.
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Offline papermill

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #37 on: December 23, 2011, 05:40:21 PM »
Nice.  There's nothing more fun than walking into a situation where you could blow everything....and the walls are moving.   :thumbup:

I don't know about moving walls but I have seen several vids where Bree Olson walks into a situation where she could blow everything :thumbup:

Everybody looked like they were having lots of fun in those :thumbup: :thumbup:

Offline Stephen Hawging

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #38 on: December 23, 2011, 05:44:30 PM »
Just stopped by my guy's on the way to visit my girlfriend's family and acquired some doses for the trip.  8-) hope her parents dont think im too weird. HOHOHO!!!

Nice.  There's nothing more fun than walking into a situation where you could blow everything....and the walls are moving.   :thumbup:

Well, when the world slips you a Jeffrey...




THIS SEASON BROUGHT TO YOU BY AMERICA'S ATHLETIC DIRECTOR, JEFF LONG!!!!

Implores you bitches to just accept the unyielding, planet-crushing black hole karma of Razorback Football.

Offline muslimsdonteatme

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #39 on: December 23, 2011, 06:57:55 PM »
Not out here.  It's growing all over the place.  Starkville, they have a four story building downtown that has the top three floors full of hydroponics and aMm.  You can smell skunk a half block away.

You have no clue.

I don't know about moving walls but I have seen several vids where Bree Olson walks into a situation where she could blow everything :thumbup:

Everybody looked like they were having lots of fun in those :thumbup: :thumbup:

Nor do you.

Surprise, surprise.


Offline boartitz

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #40 on: December 23, 2011, 07:15:39 PM »
You have no clue.

Nor do you.

Surprise, surprise.


If you can't get even,get odd

Offline WPFM

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #41 on: December 23, 2011, 07:38:53 PM »
TulsaHawg bound and gagged with his Houston Nutt boxer shorts shoved in his mouth, locked in the bathroom of his RV, whilst dancing medieval dwarfs a la Spinal Tap douse it with gasoline before a circlejerk of chain smoking WCDC parolees simultaneously flick lit cigarettes at it on the count of three.






And World Peace.
Ya'll ever tried to suck a dick for 20 minutes?  It isn't easy.

Offline muslimsdonteatme

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #42 on: December 23, 2011, 08:08:02 PM »
TulsaHawg bound and gagged with his Houston Nutt boxer shorts shoved in his mouth, locked in the bathroom of his RV, whilst dancing medieval dwarfs a la Spinal Tap douse it with gasoline before a circlejerk of chain smoking WCDC parolees simultaneously flick lit cigarettes at it on the count of three.






And World Peace.

You're a weird motherfricker.

Offline Hogtired

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #43 on: December 23, 2011, 08:09:29 PM »
I don't know about moving walls but I have seen several vids where Bree Olson walks into a situation where she could blow everything :thumbup:

Everybody looked like they were having lots of fun in those :thumbup: :thumbup:

Bree Olson likes buttsecks and Charlie Sheen yells "WINNING"
AYFSM?

Offline TheOtherWhiteMeat

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #44 on: December 23, 2011, 08:14:25 PM »
Pork bellies.

Offline Count Porkula

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #45 on: December 23, 2011, 08:18:37 PM »
Pork bellies.

frozen concentrated orange-juice futures
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Offline Gamble

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #46 on: December 23, 2011, 08:24:14 PM »
My wish would be for all posts on woopig be no longer than two sentences and and coretly punctuated.

Offline TomTHog

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #47 on: December 23, 2011, 08:32:45 PM »

You know what I got for Christmas? Oh, it was a banner fricking year at the old Bender family. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, "Hey, smoke up Johnny."
baseball is dull only to dull minds.

Offline WPFM

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #48 on: December 23, 2011, 08:41:07 PM »
You're a weird motherfricker.

Do another bowl... it'll be alright.
Ya'll ever tried to suck a dick for 20 minutes?  It isn't easy.

Offline Count Porkula

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Re: My Christmas Wish
« Reply #49 on: December 23, 2011, 08:41:17 PM »
My wish would be for all posts on woopig be no longer than two sentences and and coretly punctuated.

how about correctly spelled as well?

oh, and animal hates your wish
Resonance...metal folding chairs or hard tile floors cannot be beaten when it comes to firing off a loud fart.

 

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