2013-8-31 18:00:00 GMT-06:00
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She asked if we had rented our shoes for the trip.
That just shows the lady was the one way behind current times, as you put it. I'd much rather play the role of the squatter in the Arkansas Traveler story, the wiseacre hillbilly. It applies to any upland Southerner, and flummoxes the Starkville out of outsiders.the South has risen again, just not in the way most expected.
When I was a kid, my parents and I were traveling in New England. My mother asked some prick for directions to Con-cord. He laughed, and said "You mean conquered"? He gave us directions and walked off singing "Mammy". I thought it was pretty funny, being as how he sounded all British and aMm.I don't mind arky. Just so long as those mommafrickers who call us that don't move here.
My buddy took a yankee professor hunting one time. They were riding mules. Buddy comes to a fallen tree, and his mule jumps the log. Yankee professor approaches the log hollering, "Whoooo Ay, whoo ay!" Mule stops and he falls over the front. Buddy asks, "what were you hollering?" Yankee says, "just what I've read in books about making a horse stop, Whooo ay." Whoa.True story.
Telestraters
To me, the term Arky, when used by someone not from Arkansas, is belittling. I get images of backwoods people way behind current times. In the show Beverly Hillbillies, the characters never say where they're from, but make most of their references to this area and SW Missouri. This is what most of America thought of when they thought of Arkansas, and the term Arky has been around for a long time to collect and carry that stigma. When I was 15, I was on vacation with the family in Michigan. A lady was making small talk and found out that we were from Arkansas. She asked if we had rented our shoes for the trip. She was surprised that we owned shoes in Arkansas, and that's just 22 years ago.
Women who say "down there" when referring to their nunu.Just call it "my puthy".
I've always liked it when women use cutsie little words for it, like wizard sleeve.
Anything and everything Kardashian!
Did you tell her to frick herself?
I was a kinder gentler Satch in the day. Corruption happened in college. It probably didn't even occur to say that as a kid. Stop using the left turn lane as a merge into traffic. Especially when the inside lane is clear for a mile, and all you'd have to do is hit the fricking accelerator.Stop using the drive thru window to learn about every menu item. If you find that you need to ask more than 2 questions as you order, walk your ass inside and get some personal service. Or drive away hungry, either way, people in the drive thru are in a hurry.Sentence fragments.Stop assuming the SEC is cheating because they are dominating in football. Don't like it? Win more.
If I ever get terminal where I know I am going to die in a couple of weeks anyway I am going to some busy interstate with road construction, get in the merge line when I am supposed to, and start shooting every son of a bitch who rolls by (right by the big MERGE NOW sign) who apparently thinks their time is so much more valuable than everyone else's.If I can't drive far I might just walk over to the merge to continue on 635 past 35E and start popping people from the bushes.
Just go to Dealy Plaza. There's a good spot behind a fence underneath a tree from what I hear. (too soon?)
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