Welcome, Guest! Please login or register. - Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: Here's to the 5%  (Read 12734 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Aporkalypse_Now

  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 18176
  • That's the way baseball go
Here's to the 5%
« on: January 11, 2012, 12:51:28 AM »
Arkansas just finished in the top 5 for the first time since 1977, when I was 2 years old.

We were told we were just lil' ole Arkansas, and we should be happy just to be competitive.  We were told that with any kind of success, we had to rebuild and endure 4 win seasons.  Goals like the BCS were setting the bar far too high.  Even our lifetime AD and winningest coach told us that we were "9th in potential". An occasional trip to Atlanta to be sodomized by a team that actually belonged there was all we could hope for, they said.

Despite a .500 record, our coach was enough of an asshole he flirted with the likes of LSU and Nebraska trying to get a raise.  He disrespected our players and our fans regularly.  The Springdale kids and Malzahn were belittled and lied to, but so were hosts of others.

When we became dissatisfied, we were called a lunatic fringe.  We were called crazies and wackos and at the very least unrealistic. 

We were told that losing that coach would "set the program back 20 years".

When one of our own was ballsy enough to use the FOIA to discover exactly how bad things were, he was ridiculed, harassed and his yard was destroyed.  Some other good people were trampled as well, but not like Thomas McAfee was.

All we wanted was effort, accountability, and professionalism in our program.

Now we have a new AD, we have one of the top 2 football coaches in America, and we have a top 5 football team.

We were right, and they were wrong.

So frick you, Chuck Barrett.

Double frick you, Rick Shaffer.

Frank, I appreciated what you did back in the day, I really do.  But you fricked up the program for 2 decades after you were done coaching, so frick you, too.

Theresa Prewitt and Sherry Darby, frick you with the giant black double-headed dildo of shame.

OBVIOUSLY frick you, Houston.  frick your GD golden handcuffs.  Stay outside of our state and live in shame in that hellhole to the East of us. 

frick you James Shibest, you Benedict Arnold SOB.  You are dead to us.  The rest of MSM?  frick you, too.

frick you Grit for deleting any kind of criticism on your board.

frick anyone too insignificant to even remember anymore that helped or enabled the old regime.

We are the 5%, and WE WERE RIGHT.

Thank you to those who made it possible.  Not the douches with the banner, the guys from here.  Thomas McAfee, Eddie Christian, Razorgasm, and everyone that contributed.  Thank Elvis for giving us a place for dissent to occur.  Thanks to the media with the balls to be honest about Nutt.

Thank you Bobby Petrino, for choosing the University of Arkansas.  I don't know why of all of your options that you selected Fayetteville, but you'll never be more appreciated and more staunchly defended.  You can curse as much as you want here, we DGAF.

Thank you to Jeff Long for seeing the light on hiring Petrino, and then busting your ass to enable him to have all of the resources he needs and raising the money to give it to him, and seeing the value of a great coach and locking him down.

We were right, and I never imagined it could feel this fricking good.  The crazy thing is, it's about to get even better. 

Soak it up, bitches.

Offline notaslibro

  • Super Mod
  • Administrator
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 11277
  • They buy me nice school clothes.
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2012, 01:20:37 AM »
I agree with everything you sad.  I would only add this:

The previous coach continued to seek pay raises, even as he decried the market here.  His boss, the AD and former coach, continued to grant them, even as he decried the potential here.  They treated the fans of Arkansas like so many Second Mile participants, and they strove to take codependency to frightening new heights.

Thank you, Thomas.  Thank you, Eddie.  Thank you HFTN.

PS

Thank you Casey, DJ, and everyone else who saw through the BS and was able to transition from the the dark to the light.

Offline Stephen Colboar

  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 16146
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2012, 01:31:28 AM »
WAY TOO fricking LONG

Offline Arkansas Proud

  • Resident Corrector of their, there, and they're
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 7916
  • No longer just wavin' in the wind
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2012, 01:33:56 AM »
Thank you to the ADG for allowing the 5% ad?
-- Seven years of reading woopig and there's been nothing better than this --
In my business the biggest challenge is finding young job candidates who if they will actually work, can construct an English sentence, perform simple algebraic logic, and can accept criticism to their fragile, public school induced, soccer mom polished, self-esteem.  Failure is the best teacher in life, and the best separator of the herd.  It's not surprising our schools have become this factory of failure; they are run by this cesspool of bruised egos, social misfits, and weak-spined socialists that were marginalized in high school and failed in real life.


-- (Randall Goodgame) "Sometimes soldiers die, settin' people free.  That's more like Jesus than I'll ever be."

Offline Hogwildpigcrazy

  • Tush Hog
  • ***
  • Posts: 1522
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2012, 06:46:29 AM »
Very well stated.

Lotsa things to be pissed about, but a whole lot more to look forward to.

Go Hogs
Our founding fathers would have been shooting by now.

Offline KSHogg

  • Music Man
  • Boar
  • ****
  • Posts: 4199
  • Mobile spray tanner
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #5 on: January 11, 2012, 06:51:40 AM »
What the Starkville ever happened to Razorgasm? I haven't seen that dude/dudette around here for a while.
Still runnin' against the wind

Offline Hogtired

  • Boar
  • ****
  • Posts: 2660
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #6 on: January 11, 2012, 07:05:52 AM »
Well sir, I believe you said it very succinctly and I approve of your message
AYFSM?

Offline Sliver72

  • Doesn't roll on Shabbos.
  • Boar
  • ****
  • Posts: 4573
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #7 on: January 11, 2012, 07:36:03 AM »
One of the many beautiful things about the woopig. You can hold a grudge for fricking ever, and no one is going to tell you that you need to be a bigger person and let it go. If they do, they'll get told to frick off as well.


ADDENDUM: Quinn Grovey needs a "frick You" along with Shibest. His ass is a big reason Hootie was here.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2012, 09:38:36 AM by Sliver72 »
...as for me and my house, we will call the Hogs.

Offline Zoso

  • Claims to have met Duckman
  • Boar
  • ****
  • Posts: 4560
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #8 on: January 11, 2012, 08:14:20 AM »
I'm just a little teared up....

Offline Jose Papoopoo

  • Tush Hog
  • ***
  • Posts: 1984
  • woopig.net
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #9 on: January 11, 2012, 08:29:21 AM »
Arkansas just finished in the top 5 for the first time since 1977, when I was 2 years old.

We were told we were just lil' ole Arkansas, and we should be happy just to be competitive.  We were told that with any kind of success, we had to rebuild and endure 4 win seasons.  Goals like the BCS were setting the bar far too high.  Even our lifetime AD and winningest coach told us that we were "9th in potential". An occasional trip to Atlanta to be sodomized by a team that actually belonged there was all we could hope for, they said.

Despite a .500 record, our coach was enough of an asshole he flirted with the likes of LSU and Nebraska trying to get a raise.  He disrespected our players and our fans regularly.  The Springdale kids and Malzahn were belittled and lied to, but so were hosts of others.

When we became dissatisfied, we were called a lunatic fringe.  We were called crazies and wackos and at the very least unrealistic. 

We were told that losing that coach would "set the program back 20 years".

When one of our own was ballsy enough to use the FOIA to discover exactly how bad things were, he was ridiculed, harassed and his yard was destroyed.  Some other good people were trampled as well, but not like Thomas McAfee was.

All we wanted was effort, accountability, and professionalism in our program.

Now we have a new AD, we have one of the top 2 football coaches in America, and we have a top 5 football team.

We were right, and they were wrong.

So frick you, Chuck Barrett.

Double frick you, Rick Shaffer.

Frank, I appreciated what you did back in the day, I really do.  But you fricked up the program for 2 decades after you were done coaching, so frick you, too.

Theresa Prewitt and Sherry Darby, frick you with the giant black double-headed dildo of shame.

OBVIOUSLY frick you, Houston.  frick your GD golden handcuffs.  Stay outside of our state and live in shame in that hellhole to the East of us. 

frick you James Shibest, you Benedict Arnold SOB.  You are dead to us.  The rest of MSM?  frick you, too.

frick you Grit for deleting any kind of criticism on your board.

frick anyone too insignificant to even remember anymore that helped or enabled the old regime.

We are the 5%, and WE WERE RIGHT.

Thank you to those who made it possible.  Not the douches with the banner, the guys from here.  Thomas McAfee, Eddie Christian, Razorgasm, and everyone that contributed.  Thank Elvis for giving us a place for dissent to occur.  Thanks to the media with the balls to be honest about Mr. Golden Parachute.

Thank you Bobby Petrino, for choosing the University of Arkansas.  I don't know why of all of your options that you selected Fayetteville, but you'll never be more appreciated and more staunchly defended.  You can curse as much as you want here, we DGAF.

Thank you to Jeff Long for seeing the light on hiring Petrino, and then busting your ass to enable him to have all of the resources he needs and raising the money to give it to him, and seeing the value of a great coach and locking him down.

We were right, and I never imagined it could feel this fricking good.  The crazy thing is, it's about to get even better. 

Soak it up, bitches.

Very well said. You left out one very important frick you to John White. If not for him, Hootie would have never been hired in the first place.

Offline Joe Swine

  • I backtraced it, Doc.
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 5499
  • I can guess the rest
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #10 on: January 11, 2012, 09:11:39 AM »

Offline muslimsdonteatme

  • Thunderbolt of Flaming Wisdom
  • Administrator
  • Wild Hog
  • *****
  • Posts: 563
  • Thunderbolt of Flaming Wisdom
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2012, 09:56:00 AM »
.

Offline Dr. HawgLove

  • That's Dr. Merkwerdichliebe to you
  • Tush Hog
  • ***
  • Posts: 1751
  • Just look at the big board.
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #12 on: January 11, 2012, 10:05:40 AM »
"God willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural fluids."

"I think you're some kind of deviated prevert. I think general Ripper found out about your prevertion, and you were organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts."

"she's shitting quite a tail, there......."

Offline HogofWar

  • Boar
  • ****
  • Posts: 4058
  • Tits Out, Captain.
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #13 on: January 11, 2012, 10:08:43 AM »
Thank you Eric Cartman for that rant. :sarcasm:

Offline big_pig

  • stealer of Chop's avatar
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 13174
  • Avatars were made to be broken, but not this one!
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #14 on: January 11, 2012, 10:08:52 AM »
I am not claiming I am right, I am saying I don't get it.

Offline gambler

  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 8599
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #15 on: January 11, 2012, 10:50:12 AM »
I used to get so sick of hearing schaffer talk about keeping low expectations. He still does it some. I always thought jfb tried to talk us down with the 8th in potential bullshit. We just needed a good athletic department cleansing. We got that and look at us now. We are who we thought we were.

Offline muslimsdonteatme

  • Thunderbolt of Flaming Wisdom
  • Administrator
  • Wild Hog
  • *****
  • Posts: 563
  • Thunderbolt of Flaming Wisdom
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #16 on: January 11, 2012, 11:17:28 AM »
Where did you find a martian baby?

http://martianbaby.com/

Quote
The Martian baby grows back after it dies.  It respawns from any blood that is left, even if it is a tiny blood molecule floating in the air.   Gross, but amazing.

Offline jack_beene

  • Razorback Martha Stewart
  • Wild Hog
  • **
  • Posts: 590
  • woopig.net
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #17 on: January 11, 2012, 11:21:32 AM »
Where did you find a martian baby?
Mars?

Offline Ray Zorback

  • RMPL co-ordinator
  • Wild Hog
  • **
  • Posts: 779
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #18 on: January 11, 2012, 11:25:41 AM »
.

Offline Reo Porkwagon

  • Defeating a sandwich
  • A Shoat
  • *
  • Posts: 85
  • Bill Brasky is a Son Of A BItch
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #19 on: January 11, 2012, 12:27:22 PM »
I enjoyed the Benedict Arnold reference for what it's worth!  :thumbup:
I found an ex on Facebook who looks like she hit the wall, then the wall fell on her, then she ate it.

Offline Aporkalypse_Now

  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 18176
  • That's the way baseball go
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #20 on: January 11, 2012, 01:07:01 PM »
What the Starkville ever happened to Razorgasm? I haven't seen that dude/dudette around here for a while.

He's in the treehouse, like a lot of folks were that helped do this thing.

I think he and E had a falling out, which is a damn shame.

Sorry about the long post, but the fact it had been 35 years since we finished in the top 5 just got me riled.  As did the fact that I still have to see and hear Chuck Barrett and Rick Schaffer's silly, patronizing asses.

Offline big_pig

  • stealer of Chop's avatar
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 13174
  • Avatars were made to be broken, but not this one!
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #21 on: January 11, 2012, 01:15:54 PM »
we were the original occupiers
I am not claiming I am right, I am saying I don't get it.

Offline Fairweather Hog Fan

  • Boar
  • ****
  • Posts: 3532
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #22 on: January 11, 2012, 01:18:58 PM »
Glad I could help!  :thumbup:  If laughing at Nutt photoshops is heppin'.
Bolts bitches!

Offline Pumpkin Escobar

  • Rocky Mountain High
  • King of the Hogs
  • *****
  • Posts: 10327
  • An image of excellence.
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #23 on: January 11, 2012, 03:50:42 PM »
Thank you SS6 for your questions in Dallas which showed how out of touch Paw Paw was.
An té nach leigheasann im nó uisce beatha, ní aon leigheas ar.
 
Tiocfaidh ár lá! Éireann go brách!

Offline Olive Branch Hog

  • Tush Hog
  • ***
  • Posts: 1203
Re: Here's to the 5%
« Reply #24 on: January 11, 2012, 04:13:54 PM »
Well, it's fricking year 5 of the BMFP regime. Think about that.

And there have been no flirtations with other jobs or requests for 2 year passes. And the hogs have won 21 football games the last 2 seasons.

I'm feeling good about that.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2012, 04:17:02 PM by Olive Branch Hog »

 

WOOPIG.NET   © 2014  Jackson Technologies

Page created in 0.361 seconds with 20 queries.